


pussy on purr purr

by homerunning



Series: renjussy [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Boypussy, Breeding, Dom/sub Undertones, Drug Use, M/M, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Pegging, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sub Jeno, Trans Character, fingerbanging, fratboy!jeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-10-18 12:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20639243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homerunning/pseuds/homerunning
Summary: Jeno rescues Renjun from a boring conversation at one of his frat parties, and soon ends up taking him by the hand to his bedroom - where he's surprised to find out the boy has a pussy.





	1. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't like, don't read.
> 
> renjun would have such a pretty pussy, and jeno has such a good tongue.. i had to do it for the public
> 
> cw for some mild fetishization
> 
> title from the boys by nicki minaj

There’s a new kid they’ve never seen before at tonight’s party. He’s a sweet young thing, pretty, small, delicate. Jeno can’t keep his eyes off him from across the room, watching him sway back and forth with a beer clutched in his cute hands. Jeno turns to Jaemin, who is refilling his cup with beer from the keg next to him, and asks him what he knows about him.

“The pretty one over there? I have no idea,” Jaemin says with a shrug, and Jeno frowns in disappointment. “He looks bored though. You should go chat him up.” Jaemin smirks and pats Jeno on the back before going off again into the crowd, and Jeno… Jeno might take him up on that. The poor boy really does look bored, and Jeno’s been so busy with classes lately he hasn’t had sex in over a week. From where he’s standing, this looks like a win win situation.

He downs a swig of beer for good luck before making his way over to the boy, weaving in and out of the other drunk partygoers that fill up his frat house. The closer Jeno gets to him, he sees how _tiny_ he really is. He looks like he’d barely come up to Jeno’s chin. A flash of what it’d be like to throw him around in bed, pick him up and fuck him against the wall, comes to mind… but he shakes his head to get rid of it, focusing on the task at hand. _Jesus, Jeno, you’ve got to pull the kid first._

Jeno finally approaches them, and the boy’s eyes drift to him immediately without any thought to the other boy wearing glasses chatting his ear off, before his face splits into a wide, relieved smile. “Oh, there you are!” he says enthusiastically, lunging forward to stand by Jeno’s side, and, although confused, Jeno flushes with satisfaction. This is already going much better than he thought. 

“Yeah, I’ve been looking for you!” Jeno fills in effortlessly, tucking a casual arm around the boy’s waist, hoping it's not too much - but the way the boy relaxes into his touch gives him the impression he doesn’t mind one bit. “We’ve got to get out of here, we’ve got that thing to go to.”

The boy smacks a hand to his forehead theatrically, and when Jeno spares a glance to the boy with glasses watching them both in utter confusion, he has to bite back a laugh. “Of course, I nearly forgot! Thanks for getting me.” If Jeno was more daring, he might lean forward to kiss this stranger boy on the cheek, but he’s a gentleman in his roots, after all. “Well, I’m so sorry, Mark, but I’ve got to head out with my boyfriend. It was nice talking to you, though!” the boy tells glasses boy, Mark, with forced sincerity, but he manages to make it sound sweet, to his credit. 

Mark finally wipes the puzzled look off his face with a shake of his head, saying “no, no, you’re totally fine. Maybe I’ll see you around?” 

Jeno begins to pull the boy away in an attempt to save him from answering, but he ends up mouthing a “maybe!” to Mark before they lose him completely, disappearing into the crowd. They make it across the room, back to the original place Jeno was standing, before bursting into shared snickers and giggles.

“God bless you for that,” the boy says once they’ve gotten over their fit, leaning his shoulder back against the wall. “He roped me into listening to how he decided his field, which could’ve been interesting if only he wasn’t a Chemical Engineering major.”

Jeno raises his eyebrows and wrinkles his nose. “God, sounds awful. Shame though, he was pretty cute.”

“Mm,” the boy hums noncommittally, giving Jeno a faint once over with shining eyes. “Not as cute as the boy who came after.”

Jeno does not blush. Ever. He’s the one that makes other people blush. But he’s impressed with the boy’s tenacity, thinks it's sweet. “I usually know the names of the people I meet before they try to flirt with me,” he throws back with a curved grin, and the boy’s tilts his head back against the wall, now, exposing his neck.

“It’s Renjun,” he says, straight and proper, and Jeno loves the way it sounds so no-nonsense when it rolls off his tongue. “What about you, Prince Charming?”

Jeno laughs at the nickname. “Jeno,” he supplies, “but I like Prince Charming. Is that because I rescued you?”

“But you’re not done rescuing me yet,” Renjun says slyly, leaning forward from his tilt against the wall and standing straight to meet Jeno’s eyes - as much as he can, considering the several centimeters of height difference. “We did tell him we’d be leaving, after all. Wouldn’t want him to see us.”

Jeno darts his tongue out to wet his lips, unconsciously, feeling an excited twist in his abdomen. “Mm, you’re right. I think I might know a place.”

There’s a devilish gleam in Renjun’s eye when he offers his hand for Jeno to take, his quiet “lead the way, then” floating softly into Jeno’s ears, as smooth and sultry as if he was singing. When Jeno slides their palms together and begins to lead Renjun away to his bedroom upstairs, their footsteps quietly thumping against the ancient wooden staircase (fuck “tradition” and “keeping things sacred”, their frathouse _sorely_ needs renovations), he figures things are done and declared enough for him to picture what Renjun’s moans sound like. He’s so breathy, so soft spoken... he shivers, and impatiently tugs Renjun along faster.

They almost don’t make it to Jeno’s dorm before their limbs begin to tangle together in desperation, and Jeno only nearly shuts the door behind them before he’s throwing Renjun against it, attaching their mouths and finally letting out a soft growl.

“Not exactly a castle,” Renjun gets out with a gasp, as Jeno starts kissing down his jaw and sucking the skin just behind his ear under his teeth. Jeno pulls away briefly to spare a glance at his room, with the clothes and books strewn about haphazardly - messier than he remembers.

He turns back to Renjun, attaching his mouth to the same spot he was at before and smirking when Renjun whines at the wetness. “Good thing we only need the use of the bed,” he says quietly into Renjun’s ear, and the way he can feel Renjun’s tiny body trembling under his hands at the words does… so many things to him.

They make out for a while longer before Jeno finally spins them around, picking Renjun up and wrapping his legs around his waist before taking them to his bed, and fuck, _fuck,_ Renjun’s ass fits perfectly in the span of Jeno’s hands and he’s a feather weight in Jeno’s arms and Jeno needs to manhandle him right this second. He throws Renjun down, settling in between his open legs and using his elbows to spread his knees farther, before hovering over Renjun and sliding a reverent hand down his chest. He meets his eyes.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty,” he mumbles, and a sweet pink blush rises high on Renjun’s cheeks - he throws an arm over his face to cover it, but Jeno growls and grabs his arm, throwing it off his face as quick as it was put on.

“Nuh uh, Princess,” he says with a frown, pinning Renjun’s arm down to the bed. “I want to see you.”

Renjun lets out a groan, but - it’s not the kind of groan Jeno is looking for. It’s more… disgusted. “Eugh, can you _please_ not call me Princess, I can’t believe how cheesy that was,” he says with a playful grimace - as playful as a grimace can get - and Jeno laughs, takes it in stride. 

“You’re not one for royalty, huh?” he teases, beginning to inch lower, face settling closer and closer to in between Renjun’s open legs. “What should I call you then, hm?” he asks, almost in a taunt, as he slowly peels Renjun’s pants down his legs, tracing every inch of bare skin he exposes as he goes. The whines, beautiful and pitchy, Renjun keeps letting out are all going straight to his cock, which is beginning to strain in his boxers. “Honey? Darling? Angel?”

Renjun makes a cross between fake puking sounds and more breathy whines when his pants are thrown to the floor, and Jeno hooks his fingers into the band of his underwear. “Sweetheart? Baby?” Jeno continues, slowly, so carefully, beginning to inch the fabric down. “Pumpkin? How about - oh my _God,_” he says suddenly, the next petname leaving him as his thoughts zero in on the sight before him. “You have a _pussy._”

Renjun shifts underneath him, his legs squirming, his face turning bright red. “I know,” he says, so small, beginning to sit up and make his way off the bed, but Jeno pushes him back down before he can go anywhere, still shell-shocked.

“No, no, don’t go anywhere, I... “ Jeno says, searching for the words. Renjun waits expectedly, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. “I fucking _love_ it,” Jeno finally settles on, and the way Renjun’s pupils dilate and his open exposed pussy clenches almost makes Jeno let out a whine himself. “Oh my god, it’s so fucking hot,” Jeno adds, bringing his attention down fully to Renjun’s pussy now, in awe at the way it's gleaming underneath the lights, almost begging to be stuffed full with a cock. Jeno’s neglected dick twitches in his pants.

He stands up suddenly and rushes to undress himself, before kneeling back down on the floor at the edge of the bed, winding his arms around Renjun’s thighs and pulling him forward until his ass is almost over and his cunt is on full, glorious display right before Jeno’s eyes. “Can I eat you out?” he says, almost with a pant, as he begins stroking his cock in his hand, his fingers getting wet from his precum.

Jeno sees Renjun blush again from where he’s sitting up on his elbows, and instead of answering, he only nods shyly - and that’s the only sign Jeno needs before he dives forward, getting his first taste of the cum that’s begun dripping down his cunt, with even more pulsing out each second that passes.

He starts with kitten licks, little brushes of tongue against Renjun's pussy lips that are already beginning to swell. His strokes get longer and broader the more Renjun's cunt opens up under his mouth, and soon Renjun's moans he's tried so hard to bite back begin tumbling out, overtaking the lewd wet sounds of Jeno working his mouth in volume.

The best part of Jeno eating Renjun out isn’t his taste, which is, to put it bluntly, fucking divine - this boy must survive on a fruit diet only, because Jeno has never tasted someone so sweet before in his life. It isn’t the way Jeno has to take one of his hands off his dick to sprawl across Renjun’s abdomen and push him down, keeping him from squirming around as Jeno sucks his pussy into his mouth. It isn’t even the way Jeno’s face is soaked, from both his spit and Renjun’s own drooling pussy, which actually forms strings of wetness between his lips and Jeno’s tongue every time he pulls away to take a breather.

It’s Renjun’s _whines._ He fucking sounds like he’s mewling, shaky and desperate and _loud,_ as Jeno licks into him over and over, dipping into his clenching hole, swiping between his lips, twirling around his swollen clit. The moan he lets out when Jeno gently takes his clit into his mouth and sucks is so broken that Jeno almost worries he’s hurt him, somehow, and he looks up in concern, but Renjun shoves his head back down so fast with an exasperated “oh my god, don’t fucking _stop_” that Jeno can’t help the way he breaks into a tiny smirk.

Renjun’s hands are surprisingly tender, despite being wound in Jeno’s hair - a chorus of “don’t stop don’t stop feels so good” has started spilling almost incoherently from his lips as Jeno works his clit, and Jeno might find his utter desperation funny if he weren’t so focused on his hand speeding up on his cock. He starts moaning into Renjun’s pussy now, close himself, and that makes Renjun arch his back on the bed. Another pulse of wetness fills Jeno’s mouth, and he bumps his nose against Renjun’s clit in his eagerness to lap it all up, and that - that makes Renjun fall apart, and he just barely manages to warn “oh fuck, I’m cumming” before he’s spilling everywhere, soaking the bedsheet under him and covering Jeno’s face in one last sheen of slick. 

His hands tighten in Jeno’s hair to the point of being painful as he rides through the waves of his orgasm, body rocking and writhing on Jeno’s bed. He begins to paw at Jeno’s face, demanding, as coherently as he can with his melted brain, for Jeno to come up here and kiss him. Jeno lunges at his words, crawling up on the bed and falling over him to bring their mouths together. Renjun releases an excited “mm!” at his own taste on Jeno’s tongue, and when Jeno starts rutting up against his stomach desperately like a dumb mutt, he snakes a hand down between them and takes Jeno’s cock into his fist.

“Ah, fuck,” Jeno groans, trying to glance down - he wants to see how fucking _tiny_ Renjun’s hand will look on his, modesty be damned, hung cock. But Renjun pulls him back down by his other hand on his neck, licking hungrily into his mouth and jerking him one last time, and their tongues sopping against each other is all he can focus on before he whites out and he spills all over him, covering Renjun’s chest and tummy in his cum. 

They pant against each other’s mouths for a few minutes as they both come down. Jeno could’ve sworn the room started spinning, for a minute, which is why he collapses on the bed next to Renjun, their breaths matching in their chests as they lay side by side. “Fuck,” Renjun says, once, eloquently, almost five minutes later. All Jeno can do is nod in agreement. “Fuck,” he echoes.

Another five minutes pass before Renjun slowly starts pulling himself together, sliding off the bed, gathering his clothes. Jeno sits up on his elbows, enjoying the view in front of him - he didn’t notice before that Renjun had such a cute ass, he’d been so distracted by -

“Thanks for that,” Renjun says, and Jeno’s attention snaps up to meet his eyes. Renjun coughs awkwardly, trying to suavely pull on his pants while also staying upright. He’s kind of failing, and Jeno thinks it’s kind of cute. “I had fun, Prince Charming.”

Jeno grins up at him coyly. “You really don’t like Princess?” 

Renjun pulls his shirt over his head and glares, but his hair is all fluffed and messy, so it’s cute. “Mm-mm,” he shakes his head resolutely, and Jeno could’ve sworn he saw a pout. 

“Alright then. I’ll have to think about it and get back to you,” Jeno says, and he almost bites his tongue at the inadvertent promise he’s made to see him again - his face falls, as he tries to thinks of a way to smooth it over. Things never ever get awkward with his hook-ups, he always makes sure of it.

But to his luck, Renjun only smiles. “Can’t wait to hear it.” And then he’s out the door, and Jeno throws his head back into his pillow, curls up onto his side to avoid the - eugh - wet spot on his sheets he’ll have to worry about cleaning up tomorrow, and falls asleep within minutes.

When he totters down the stairs the next morning for coffee, pleasantly surprised his hangover is only mild and completely manageable, he forgets there even was a party. He finds Jaemin sitting at their dining table, scrolling through his phone and munching on dry cereal out of the box, while Jaehyun and Doyoung are diligently cleaning up the house from all the mess around him.

Jeno thwacks him on the head when he passes him on his way to the coffee machine, and he looks up with a withering scowl on his face. "Yeah, thanks for that, Jeno, right on the worst of my headache."

"Just for sitting on your ass while the hyungs clean up the mess for the party _you_ threw. And maybe if you didn't down an entire case of beer every time you decide to drink," Jeno teases lightly, and Jaemin purses his lips, narrows his eyes.

"Enough about my alcohol habits, I want to hear what happened last night. I saw you leading him up to your room pretty quickly, I assume it ended well."

"Oh, it ended more than well," Jeno smirks, and he lowers his voice and leans forward, so it's only for Jaemin and not the hyungs to hear if they happen to be eavesdropping. "He had a pussy."

Jaemin's mouth drops, his hand stilling inside the cereal box. "For real?"

Jeno nods his head as seriously as he can, and Jaemin leans back in his chair.

"Damn. How was he?"

Jeno mimes zipping his lips at that, purposefully returning his gaze to the coffee machine, and Jaemin rolls his eyes. "Fine, you hogger. I guess I'll just have to find out for myself."

Jeno busies himself with getting two mugs down from the cupboard, and he pours Jaemin a black coffee he always insists he likes even as he chokes it down - disgusting - and a two sugar no cream coffee for himself. He slides Jaemin his coffee before sitting down across from him, and he catches his eye and leans forward with a conspiratory whisper.

"Just make sure you don't call him Princess. He doesn't like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might continue this.. lmk if you'd read!
> 
> [twt]() / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/homerunning)


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't like, don't read
> 
> my favorite part of this was writing dumb jock jaemin whose heart of gold makes up for the fact that he's an idiot

Jeno is sitting in a library cubicle to avoid the rowdiness of the frat house while he studies, minding his own sweet business, when Jaemin creeps up on him from behind and yanks an Airpod out of his ear, making that weird ugly teeth-sucking noise he does after just to add insult to injury.

Jeno flinches and narrowly avoids squealing, which would've been both a hit to his pride and his stellar record of being a quiet, polite librarygoer. He glares at Jaemin when the boy sits down across from him, a wide, froglike grin on his face. He's so ugly, Jeno hates him - best friend status aside.

"Well? Are you gonna say it or can I get back to studying?" Jeno says impatiently, when Jaemin still hasn't spilled. Jaemin rolls his eyes and pouts, finally dropping his creepy smile, his features smoothing back to normal.

"You're no fun," he whines, and Jeno flicks him a sarcastic thumbs up.

"'S why they call me Jeno-Jam, isn't it?"

"I thought you were called Prince Charming?" Jaemin says coyly, and that finally catches Jeno's attention, making him drop his pen.

"How did you - did you sleep with him?" Jeno says, mouth dropped open - he's not sure if it's in disgust, in admiration, in envy - _damn,_ Renjun really was a good time. Jeno would be lying if he said he hadn't kept drifting back to that night in his thoughts for the past week. 

"Maybe," Jaemin says nonchalantly, but he doesn't stop the mischievous, self-satisfied grin spreading across his face. "You weren't lying, he really did have a cunt. And by god, it was so -"

"Where'd you find him?" Jeno interrupts quickly - he doesn't want to hear the gross details of Jaemin's sex life, thanks. Jaemin's face falls from being talking-about-his-own-cockblocked, but he shrugs and answers anyway.

"I asked around. He's part of this club on campus, a ballet one. I went to one of the meet ups and started chatting him up, and… well…" 

Jeno narrows his eyes. "If I see you pull that ugly self-satisfied smirk one more time today I'm smacking it out of your head." 

Jaemin puts his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright, you grump. If you really don't want me to tell you about how he asked for you…"

Jeno gives him a long, drawn out, deadpan stare. Before he really does lean forward and smack him lightly on the head.

"Ow!" Jaemin yells, over exaggerated, and Jeno whips his head outside the cubicle to make sure no one is staring. "The fuck was that for?"

"Of course I want to know that, you idiot, just get to it!" Jeno hisses, and Jaemin pouts, rubbing the spot of contact on his head. He's so fucking annoying, Jeno doesn't know how he stands it sometimes. Maybe the next time Jaemin is there for him during 2 in the morning breakdowns over exams, always ready with a coffee and those infuriatingly warm hugs of his, he'll remember.

"He said I looked familiar, when we talked for the first time. And then, well - after we," Jeno makes to smack him on the head again before he can pull his signature smirk, but Jaemin's smart enough to dodge it this time, "he said he figured it out. He remembered me from that night at the party, he saw us talking before you went over. He asked how Prince Charming was doing."

"He saw me," Jeno says airily - for some reason, this sticks out the most in his mind. "He saw me before I went up to him."

"Maybe it was destiny," Jaemin sing-songs, and Jeno looks back at him. 

"I hope you somehow managed to pull _some_ sort of charm when you were with him, I'd feel terrible for him otherwise."

Jaemin scoffs. "I don't know what you mean, I'm full of charms. From my toes to my fingers," he says, lifting two fingers up and curling them lewdly - _far_ too lewdly for a public place.

And Jeno's had enough. He leans forward in his chair, placing his elbows on the table, and stares directly at him while asking evenly, "answer me something real quick. What was the name of the ballet club he was at?"

"Transform Ballet Company," Jaemin supplies easily, and Jeno nods.

"Thank you, that was all I needed. And now," he says as a prelude, before standing up, crossing around the table, and pulling Jaemin into a chokehold. They roughhouse around for a little bit, a few elbows banging into the table here and there, before they're finally caught with a loud hiss from a cubicle over, making them freeze. 

They meet each other's eyes, arms still around necks, before breaking down into shared giggles.

✦

It turns out there's only one ballet club on campus, and it's incredibly easy to find. They have an open rehearsal policy to get more students involved, a smart move on their part - nothing gets students more involved than a free session to ogle at tight, sweaty bodies in leotards.

But when Jeno walks in and sits down in one of the chairs at the back of the room, whatever intentions he had at the start (Jeno's a gentleman and gentlemen don't ogle - at least not openly) evaporate from his mind the second he lays eyes on the group of twirling ballerinas in the center of the floor, pretty, small-waisted little Renjun leading them.

He seems to be an instructor, demonstrating a leap or a turn or an arabesque before turning around and weaving between the rest of them, correcting elbows and hip placements around the room with gentle fingers and polite little tuts. 

Jeno is overwhelmed with many things at once. The fact that Renjun is a ballet dancer, a ballet instructor, no less, and a polite and kind one at that. _And_ that's not even mentioning how cute his pert ass looks in those tiny shorts he's wearing over his tights… Jeno bites his lip and shuts down this whole train of thought, because he's not about to pop a hard on in public like a pathetic middle schooler.

He directs his energy elsewhere into thinking of what to say to Renjun to pull him once more. He's been working his ass off trying to finish a midterm paper for history the past week and he's wound so tight, he's worried his dick might fall off if he doesn't stick it in something warm soon. 

Jeno's a simple man. There's a lot riding on this encounter. 

Finally, after Jeno's got his words of charm down pat and has spent a while just enjoying the graceful movements of the dancers, practice is over. Renjun calls time and everyone breaks to gather their stuff and head out the door. Jeno stays lurking in the back, nodding his head politely at the girls and boys that pass him on the way out, before finally slinking forward once the studio is emptied out of everyone but Renjun.

Renjun's got his back to him, kneeling down and rummaging around in a duffel bag on the floor, so Jeno tries to sneak up on him, figuring it'll be a cute opener - but Renjun speaks and it startles him instead. He sees himself jump in the mirror.

"Enjoy the show?" Renjun asks knowingly as he stands up and turns around, and Jeno swallows, trying to calm his startled heartbeat.

"Very much so," he answers as smoothly as he can. His preplanned words have left him and all he's got is a blank stare as Renjun eyes him up and down, looking so delicate and handsome in his shorts and tights.

"You're a beautiful dancer," he finds coming out of him, and it's sincere. Very sincere. Renjun breaks into a small smile and looks down, the faintest pink of a blush rising on his high cheekbones.

"Thank you," he accepts quietly, but a quirk raises his lip and he narrows a thin, arched eyebrow, "but I'm sure my dancing is not the only thing you were looking at."

Jeno's eyes widen and he raises his hands to shake. "I'm being serious!"

Renjun bends down to toe on the sneakers he pulled out earlier, and zips up his duffel bag and sling it around his shoulder, gracing Jeno with a soft, knowing smile when he stands back up. "I know you were, Prince Charming. Well… I've got to head out, so..."

_Shit._ Jeno licks his lips and tries to think, think of a way to get him to stay, or to maybe go with him… he looks up with sudden confidence. "Your bag looks a bit heavy, there. What kind of prince would I be if I didn't offer to carry it for you?"

They only stare at each other for a few quiet beats, Renjun's fist tightening on the strap of his bag, and Jeno feels his insides clench up, hoping he hasn't made things awkward in case Renjun really needed to go. But then Renjun smirks and nods, almost like he's impressed.

"You'd be a terrible one," he says, and that twinkle in his eye Jeno loves to see gleams when he hands over his bag for Jeno to take. Jeno crosses into his eye smile, the cutest move he possesses in his repertoire, but it drops without warning when he puts the bag on his shoulder and realizes how fucking _heavy_ it is. Is he hiding a dead fucking body in here?

Renjun only giggles at Jeno's frown and pats him on the shoulder. "The burden's all yours, champ." And he giggles again, once, before turning and heading for the exit, and Jeno can only follow him with a strain in his step, pretending he doesn't love the way this is going.

✦

Renjun's apartment dorm is quite far, on the outermost edge of campus, and so they fill the long walk with chatting.

"So how long have you been dancing?" Jeno asks him curiously, after they've just finished a laughing fit over Jeno sharing the story of Jaemin accidentally Airdropping a masturbating video to his math professor instead of a hook-up last year. Renjun is still breathless from all the howling, and Jeno is still so, so endeared by how fucking _cute_ the boy is.

"Since about thirteen," Renjun answers, the red flush in his face finally calmed down. "Learning how to dance, um -" he pauses and coughs once, and the breath he inhales could almost sound shaky if Jeno listened hard enough, "it really helped get me through my transition. I felt so alienated from my body, at that time… it helped me, like. Reconnect."

Jeno bumps into him lightly, to get his attention, and gives him a warm, encouraging smile. "That's amazing." Renjun takes his bottom lip between his teeth and blushes so sweet. He's so fucking sweet.

"So are you the owner of the club?" he continues with his questioning, and he's surprised, at himself, at the way it's a genuine question, and not part of some unconscious ploy to sweet talk his way into Renjun's tights. Maybe Lee Jeno really is a decent person underneath it all.

"God no," Renjun answers with a laugh. "I don't own or lead anything, I'm just an instructor, and an advisor for the club's mission."

"Mission?" Jeno says with a high whistle, raising his eyebrows. "Sounds so fancy."

"It's nice," Renjun says, voice softening, and he begins to sway as he walks, his fingers twisted together in front of him. "Transform Ballet. It's welcome to anyone, all sexualities and all genders, to come learn to connect with and appreciate, transform, their bodies through dancing. 'S part of the open rehearsal policy. It's nice," he repeats, his voice turning small as he finishes.

Jeno nods his agreement with a hum. "It does sound really nice. We could always use more accepting places like this here."

Renjun turns his head to him and narrows his eyes, and Jeno stiffens at the weight of his stare. He scans over him like he's puzzling him, trying to weigh some things over other things and reach a conclusion. Jeno likes that logical look of his, but not when he's at the end of it so brutally like this. He hoistens the bag up on his shoulder and keeps walking, hating the way they've turned silent.

Renjun comes to a stop only one block later, in front of a several-storied apartment complex with boxes of stairs separating every few windows. Jeno cranes his neck to see the top of the building, and the bag shifts painfully on his shoulder.

"Well," Renjun breaks the silence with a small clap, "here's our stop."

Jeno's head lowers to look at him, and he sees the faintest wry smile on his face. "I'm up on the fourth floor," Renjun speaks, "and there's so many stairs… it'd be so hard to carry my bag…"

Jeno feels a two ton weight of relief slam into him like a freight train. He knows where he stands now, on proper footing, and he doesn't have to guess where to stand for his next move. Such a fucking relief. "Consider it done," he says squarely, and Renjun's devilish smiles turns wide enough to expose teeth.

There's hotwires of tension between them as they wind up the stairs, losing their breath for more than one reason. Around the second floor Jeno is itching to just drop the stupid bag and take Renjun right then and there on the stairs, but he waits and waits and dutifully climbs the stairs, knowing his wait will be up soon.

They finally reach Renjun's floor, and the boy nearly skips on his way to his door, Jeno running clumsily to keep up. Jeno only realizes just how much Renjun has kept the reigns of today in his hands when he jams his key in the door and flies it open, and shoves Jeno inside, falling to his knees the second he's got Jeno pinned against the door.

"Wanna suck your dick so fucking bad," Renjun mumbles as he works Jeno's belt, and Jeno, still half shell-shocked, finally throws the stupid heavy bag past Renjun's head and winds his fingers into Renjun's hair, tugging the short, silky strands.

"God, _ngh_," Jeno whimpers, struggling to keep himself together as Renjun's nimble fingers undo his jeans, "get your pretty mouth on me, please, wanna fuck your mouth."

Jeno just barely hears Renjun scoff, too caught up in the feeling of his hardening cock hitting the cool air when Renjun pulls down his jeans and underwear. He doesn't realize what's going on, lost in the fantasy of thrusting into the tight warmth of Renjun's throat, until he feels a sharp slap on his cock and cries out in pain, his nails trying to dig into the wood of the door.

"You're gonna stay absolutely still," Renjun commands, and that no nonsense tone of his voice has never sounded hotter. "If your hips move by even a centimeter, I'm pulling off and slapping your cock for each one."

A cry rises in Jeno's throat and he nods pathetically, frantically, bringing his fist up to his mouth to bite back his moans when Renjun finally sinks his mouth over the tip of his cock.

He sucks lightly, teasingly, toying with Jeno's cockhead which has begun to leak sticky droplets of precum. Jeno is already struggling to keep his hips still when he feels Renjun suckling to milk out more precum, but he doesn't move a muscle. He wants to be good for him.

Renjun pops off to take a breath and look up at Jeno, some of his cum shining at the corner of his lips. Jeno groans and slams his head back against the door at the sight, which means he has no warning for Renjun ducking his head back and sliding all the way down, the entire length of Jeno's cock in his mouth.

"Oh, _fuck,_" Jeno whines brokenly, and Renjun, the fucking bastard, _smirks_ around him. "You're so good at that, oh my god, feels so fucking good." He's babbling, he knows, and it's embarrassing, but he doesn't really care, not when Renjun is tonguing so sweetly around him, bobbing his head up and down and sinking further each time he goes.

When he pulls off again, minutes later, an entire flood of saliva is left behind and it drips down and off of Jeno's cock. "How are you always so fucking wet?" Jeno asks in amazement, as Renjun wipes his chin of drool. Renjun looks up at him from under his eyelashes, and Jeno's secure enough in his pride to admit that that sight alone nearly pushes him to the edge.

"This," Renjun begins with a pant, gesturing to his sloppy mouth, "isn't even close to how wet I am." The groan Jeno releases in response to those words amplifies by ten when Renjun sucks him back into his mouth, and he's cumming only minutes later down Renjun's throat. 

"I'm surprised you stayed so still," Renjun says, and how he manages to keep his voice so even when he's got Jeno's leftover cum drooling from his mouth and adding to the spit on the floor, is a complete mystery to Jeno. Jeno is still panting as breathlessly as if he'd just finished a marathon.

"W-wanted to be good," Jeno gets out, his eyes staying trailed on Renjun's as the boy gets up from his knees and stands face to face in front of him. 

"Aw," Renjun coos, his face softening, but it's hard for Jeno to concentrate when his mouth is still smeared with wetness. "That's kind of cute, Princey. Do you wanna keep being good?"

Jeno hates the way he nods almost instantly, like a dumb fucking puppy just wanting a good head scratch. Renjun smiles and leans forward to give him one little peck, gone as quick as it came, before winding his fingers around Jeno's wrists still thrown back against the door and tugging gently.

"Then come over here and stick your fingers in me."

Jeno doesn't need to be told twice for that. 

He picks Renjun up by his waist and runs to his bed in the center of the room, throwing him onto the mattress. He's frantic and growling, maybe subconsciously trying to throw himself out of this weird obedient headspace he seems to be in, but he seems to have forgotten Renjun is wearing a leotard until he slides his shorts down his slender legs and is met with a puzzle he doesn't know how to solve.

"Here, I got it," Renjun says with an amused, giggly laugh, sitting up on the bed and beginning to take himself out of his leotard. Jeno waits patiently, only watching him until he's kicked off his shoes and the last of his tights are rolled off his ankles, before he pins him back down by his stomach and spreads him by his inner thighs.

"Mm," Jeno takes a minute, licking his lips, to just look at Renjun, his sweet and soft yet tight little dancer's body, his dark, tiny nipples sitting just over two faint surgical scars, the way the lines of his open legs draw Jeno's eyes so deliciously to his dripping, swollen cunt. He gasps cooly when he reaches forward and strokes his fingers over Renjun's folds, feeling how soaked he is already. 

"You really are the wettest person I've ever met," Jeno says, almost fascinated, as he pulls his fingers away and scissors them open, slick strings webbing between them. Renjun can only whimper, a pleading shine in his eyes, before Jeno takes the hint and brings his hand back down, dipping two fingertips into Renjun's hole this time.

"Oh, fuck," Renjun gasps, throwing his head back. Jeno smiles, happy to have finally gotten at least _some_ semblance of control back, and circles the tips of his fingers deeper into Renjun's cunt, slowly stretching him open. 

"Y-you know," Renjun begins shakily, hissing every time Jeno's thick fingers brush against his walls, "I really like it, by the way. The way you - _ah, god_ -almost… worship it."

"Mm?" Jeno asks, tilting his head to the side, too focused on curling his fingers forward to find Renjun's spot. 

"You worship me," Renjun clarifies, a sharp, broken whimper leaving him when Jeno finds it, and begins rubbing against it gently. "I like it. I think it's sweet."

Jeno almost has to balk, at that, and he shakes his head. "Of _course_ I have to worship you, fucking look at you," he replies, reaching his other hand forward to slide it slowly up Renjun's belly, feeling and taking his soft, beautiful skin as he goes. "Most beautiful boy I've ever seen. You know I kept thinking about that night, right," Jeno says, slowly working his fingers in further, amazed at the way his pussy stretches so pliantly. "Days after. Couldn't even go a couple hours through a lecture before I had to run to the bathroom and get myself off."

He works his thumb in, now, spreading Renjun's folds wider, and groans when he can actually see his fingers going in and out of the boy. "Touching myself to you. Thinking of your sweet pussy. That was the last time I came so hard, until just now, when I gave you it down your throat."

Renjun's blush is hard enough that he closes his eyes, and Jeno won't have that. So he twists his fingers in further against Renjun's spot just as he thumbs at Renjun's clit, and Renjun's eyes fly open, a cry ripped from his throat.

"Fuck, fuck, keep going, right there," he starts whimpering, his voice high and pitchy and broken, and Jeno slows down so the boy doesn't end up thrashing around on the bed. He curls his fingers gently, mindful in his careful strokes over his sensitive walls and twirls of his thumb over his throbbing clit.

He watches in admiration, almost awe as Renjun's pussy soaks his hand with waves of wetness, his slick dripping all the way down to Jeno's wrist. He's so slippery and swollen, sticky patches of whiteness forming where Jeno's fingers keep sliding in and out of him, his cunt demanding for more.

He gives so easily when Jeno slides in a third finger and tucks it seamlessly against the other two. The fullness proves to be too much for Renjun, who starts squirming frantically under Jeno's hold in his cunt, begs and whines tumbling out his mouth.

"There, right there Jeno, fuck I'm so close, please fuck me _harder,_" he sobs, and Jeno only has to spread his fingers inside him and flick his clit twice before Renjun is squirting all over the place. Jeno recoils in shock; he's never seen someone squirt in real life before, and a hot, dark pang of want starts throbbing in his stomach as he watches Renjun scream and quiver his legs, his pussy spraying cum all over Jeno's arm. 

"Oh my god, oh my god," Renjun is chanting as his body still trembles through the intensity of his orgasm. Jeno can only stare blankly, his three fingers still stuffed up Renjun's pussy, and it takes Renjun screaming _too much, too much!_ for him to snap out of it and pull his fingers out, the skin so soaked it's almost slimy.

"Holy shit, I've never done that before," Renjun finally gets out once he's done, and Jeno can hear the strain in his voice from the effort. "What kind of magic have you been hiding from me?"

Now, for the first time today, it's Jeno's turn to flash a shy smile. "A prince never tells."

Renjun rolls his eyes and throws his head back down, staring up at the ceiling with a dreamy look in his eye. "You're so annoying," he says softly, with zero bite, and Jeno feels a flicker of warmth in his stomach, that has nothing to do with the half hard cock he's got in his lap.

They stay in those same positions for a few minutes, waiting for their heartbeats to calm down to normal speeds, but the problem between Jeno's legs only grows the more he stares at Renjun, at how beautiful and pliant he looks when he's all fucked out and sprawled across the sheets.

When Renjun closes his eyes, Jeno worries for a second that relief will never come, but then the boy is hoisting himself up and off the bed, his bare ass wiggling cutely as he pads his way across the apartment to the open bathroom door.

"I really do have to shower," Renjun says, and the way he looks so crestfallen, Jeno guesses it's with regret. "And I wish I could take care of you after, but you'll just get me all messy again."

Jeno's shoulders droop in disappointment, thinking of how sad a wank it'll be when one of the hottest boys he's ever seen is less than ten meters away from him and unavailable. He won't have that. So he stands up and puts his best pout on, stroking his cock a couple times for good measure. "I could always join you?" he suggests hopefully, and he doesn't miss the way Renjun's eyes darken, even from this distance.

"Oh, fine," Renjun agrees with a faux-exasperated sigh, even though his legs have clamped together unconsciously. He reaches his hand forward for Jeno to take, and laughs when Jeno bounds up to him joyfully. 

"But you're washing my hair for me afterwards."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if you liked it !
> 
> [twt]() / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/homerunning)


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> accidentally gave this Wayyy more plot than what I planned whoops
> 
> cw for maybe dubcon? i mean.. they’re both fully into it but they’re also both on drugs so.. up to you to decide. also cw for a breeding kink.
> 
> and as always don’t like don’t read

Jeno has only one thing to say, after spending an entire week hunched over his laptop frantically typing up essays, cramping his hand from the amount of math problems he’s copied and inevitably had to rework when they turned up wrong, consuming toxic levels of disgusting Americanos provided by Jaemin that Jeno is ashamed he’s had to sink down to, and an amount of joints that number in the double digits he’s had to chain smoke to get his hands to stop shaking after the caffeine dumps, and that is:

_fuck_ midterms. 

He’d laid like a slug in bed this morning, refusing to get up. He was just too brain fried, too dead on his feet, and too scared to head to his first exam of the morning. It took Jaemin draping himself over him and nearly suffocating him to finally get up, and it had genuinely taken Jeno the force of the universe to not punch Jaemin in the fucking jaw.

“Wake up, sunshine, you have exams to go to,” Jaemin had said, as if that wasn’t all Jeno had been thinking about for the past two weeks.

But even though Jeno had clenched his teeth, the tension in his chest finally ready to snap and explode in Jaemin’s face, all that had come out when he opened his mouth was a whimper. “I don’t want to, Jaem,” he’d said, small and cracked.

“Aw, Jeno,” Jaemin had said, reaching his arms forward for Jeno to fall into, and it was times like these that Jeno remembered how much he loved him. He buried his face in his neck and inhaled his scent, his horrible Tom Ford cologne - but he’s been wearing it for so long, it’s a comfort now, smelling like him. 

“C’mon, don’t be nervous.” Jaemin started rubbing his back, his voice slightly muffled from where Jeno’s hair was covering his mouth. “You’ve been studying so fucking hard, dude, more than I’ve ever seen you, there’s no way you’ll fail!”

“But what if I’ve studied so hard that everything has turned to a rock in my brain and I can’t get it out anymore?”

Jaemin paused, so long that Jeno pulled his head back to look at him and see what was wrong. His nose was wrinkled. “Jeno, that’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Get dressed and eat some breakfast, you bitch. You need to go ace those exams.”

And by God, Jeno hated to admit it, like he always hated to admit it when Jaemin was right, but… the idiot did good. And Jeno had left the frat house with the first change of clothes he’d had in two days, a full belly, and a renewed ambition to crush the fuck out of his midterms. 

He doesn’t even go over flashcard sets in his head on his walk to class, instead devoting thoughts to how much fun he’s going to have at the party planned for tonight. The frathouse’s end-of-first-midterms celebration party. It’s always one of the craziest of the year, as they’re one of the biggest frats on campus, and Jeno remembers how fucked he got during last year’s. Literally and figuratively.

After the immense stress of the last few weeks, he cannot fucking wait to get shit faced and forget he even has a brain. 

And Jeno’s excitement only grows exponentially when his first exam, history, turns out to be a breeze. He recognizes every single question from his flashcards and flies through the answers. He even finishes with seven minutes to spare, and he fills the time fiddling with his pencil, something he hasn’t had the time to do in far too long.

He’s got a skip in his step on his way to his second exam, math, which proves to be a good omen; he rips through that one too, and by the time he’s finished at half past noon and traipsing back to the frat house, he’s already fantasizing about how good it will feel to let loose tonight. He remembers Jaehyun saying they found someone to supply ecstasy, and anticipation winds his chest up tight at the thought. He’s never tried hard drugs before, and he can’t think of a better time than now to do it.

The frat house is half empty when he arrives. The few hyungs, Johnny, Yuta, and Jungwoo, who have already finished their midterms are hanging out in front of the TV playing video games and elbowing each other for more room on the couch. Johnny asks him how his exam went as he passes, and Jeno gives him a smile that reaches his eyes and a salute, and the three boys jump up into a raucous celebration.

“That’s our fucking boy!” Johnny shouts, and there’s such a commotion around him he’s not sure whose limbs are whose, but someone is giving him knuckles that are far too painful on his head. He manages to wiggle out of them with a gasp, and they end up roughhousing back onto the couch to continue their game.

And then, when Jeno goes to the kitchen, of course he finds Jaemin. The bastard _only_ had essays for his midterms, no exams, and Jeno seriously wanted to throttle him when he smugly declared he was all finished and submitted when Jeno still had a week left of suffering to get through.

He’s sitting on his ass at the table like he normally is, with his feet propped up, still in the ratty clothes he slept in. Jeno’s first thought is to make fun of him for not being able to follow his own advice, but… in one of his rare, soft moments, he greets Jaemin with a small smile and a brush of fingers on his shoulder, and Jaemin’s smile is splitting when he turns around.

“You ready for this party tonight?” he asks with a wild look in his eye.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how my exams went?” he asks, sitting down across from him and kicking his feet up in the same manner. 

“Don’t need to,” Jaemin says smartly. “I already know you killed them.”

Jeno smiles, and normally, he might be bashful, but not today. Not with all this energy he’s slowly building inside him, sparking his cells and heating his blood, limbering his movements. He feels fucking ready to pounce, and so he smirks instead, a shine in his eye. “You’re damn fucking right I did.”

✦

The frat house gets louder and louder the more members that come home, free from their exams. Everyone is pre-partying and gearing up for the party ahead of them, gathering the alcohol and the lights and the music and most importantly, the ecstasy. The guy who comes over to deal it to them is sketchy as all fuck, but Jaehyun seems to trust him and Jaehyun is one of the most trustworthy guys Jeno knows. So he follows along with the rest of their hype, Jaemin next to him beside it all to share knowing, mischievous looks with.

By the time evening hits, the hyungs decide it’s time to head out, and they spill out of the house, some of them already stumbling on their feet. Jeno isn’t sure exactly where they’re heading, he just knows it’s somewhere far, outside of campus. So far that all fourteen of the frat members have to split to squeeze into Johnny and Jaehyun’s sport cars. 

Jeno ends up in Johnny’s car next to Jaemin and Taeyong, and Jaemin waits for the drive to be well on its way before he pulls out a joint from his front pocket and a lighter from the other. He’s met with immediate discord.

“You better not be planning on lighting up in my car,” Johnny says harshly, looking into the back through the mirror, and Jaemin pales. Jeno tries his hardest to keep a straight face, but… he’s already just about hit his limit of being nice to Jaemin today. He snickers.

“I was gonna roll the window down,” Jaemin scowls, stuffing the lighter back into his pocket, and Taeyong reaches over Jeno to pat him on the knee, his voice softer than Johnny’s but still firm.

“You don’t want to smoke anyway when you take ecstasy, that’s dangerous,” he says, with a shine in his always-sincere doe eyes.

“Thanks, hyung, but there’s no way in fuck I’m doing ecstasy,” Jaemin says resolutely, even shaking his head for flair, and Jeno sours and hits his arm. It was gentle but Jaemin overacts like he always does with a shriek, and the other members groan at the volume. 

“How come?” Jeno asks with a pout once it’s settled down.

“Ecstasy is too risky, dude, sorry,” Jaemin sniffs. “And anyway, I’m good with weed.”

“But… who’s supposed to do it with me now?” Jeno whines, and Jaemin gives him a glaring side eye.

“That does not sound like the confidence of a man who just destroyed his exams today.”

Jeno rolls his eyes and sits back, folding his arms over his chest in a fit.

“Besides, I’m sure whoever you get to fuck around with tonight would be more than willing to do it with you,” Jaemin finishes, and Jeno stays pouty, but… you know, for the second time today, Jaemin might be right. He stiffens up in his seat a bit and cranes his neck to look at himself in the rearview mirror, checking his hair and his eyebrows and for stray pimples, making sure everything’s in place. 

He’s got to make sure his hook up goes extra well tonight.

When they finally arrive at their destination, nearly half an hour later, Jeno realizes why this party took the hyungs such careful planning over two weeks.

They’re at the woods. The fucking _woods._

Jeno doesn’t like the way this is going at all - he’s scared of things at night. It’s dark and shit, and there’s noises, and - eugh, he just doesn’t like it. He hesitates, following them as they begin to walk a treaded path in the woods, sparing a glance back at Jaemin to make sure he’s coming too.

Lightsticks are already set up to guide a winding path through the forest, and all of the members dutifully trail along following Taeyong in the front, carrying boxes of alcohol and glowsticks, until they reach the final destination.

The - Jeno’s not sure what else to call it other than dance floor, even though it’s literally just a big, flat spot without trees - is already good to go, tables around the edges and lights all strung up in the branches. Even though it’s only just dusk, wispy shadows falling on the ground from the trees, the lights are still shining and it looks... impressive, to Jeno. He shakes his head, trying to gather up some nerve. He’s just got to get over the fact that it’s in the middle of the dark, creepy woods.

“Okay everyone,” Taeyong announces, and all of the members turn to listen. He explains how Johnny will set up the sound system, and gives directions for the placement of the alcohol and other various party favors they’ve brought along, before ending with a chant that it’s gonna be the party of the fucking year. 

The members all burst into noise around him, even Jaemin, who seems to be a bit of a downer tonight - Jeno will make sure to ask him about it later - cheering and whooping and bragging about who they’re gonna fuck for the night, just waiting for the night to creep along farther and the woods to fill with bodies.

_Guests,_ Jeno corrects quickly in his head, a shiver going down his spine. He really hates the woods.

✦

It’s only a few hours later that Jeno decides he loves the woods.

He feels wasted, the party around him completely surreal with all its flashing lights overhead and pounding music and glowsticks bouncing up and down on dancing chests, catching in Jeno's lines of sight. The way it feels so centered and isolated from the rest of the world truly making the whole thing seem like a promised land, and it's nothing like Jeno has ever experienced before. And the funniest part of it is, he hasn't even drank a single drop of alcohol. He's itching to find someone to hook up with so he can hurry this ecstasy thing along and make the night even more memorable.

But he hasn't even found any potentials yet, drifting through the crowd, feeling a little put out by everyone he encounters and speaks to. He keeps wanting to find Jaemin and hang out with him instead as the night stretches on and his disappointment grows, but he also doesn't want to have to deal with Jaemin's sulkiness tonight. At least not right now. He needs to focus on his game plan.

He's still scanning around, looking for anyone that catches his eye, getting a pat on the back and a knowing wink with blown pupils every time he crosses paths with one of his hyungs. When he finds himself running into one of the people he's already attempted to chat up, he's seriously almost ready to call it a night and smoke with Jaemin - at least _something_ to do - when he spots him. Across the way, one hand nursing a beer and the other on his hip as he talks to a pretty boy. A wave of déjà vu crosses over him. 

It's Renjun.

Jeno nearly trips over his feet trying to make his way through the crowd of drunkards to reach him.

Later, thinking back on it, Jeno might have been a little too enthusiastic in his approach, especially considering he didn’t even have any alcohol in his system to blame it on. He blames it on the unearthly surroundings fucking with his head instead, and… he’d just been excited to see him, is all. But if he could do it again, maybe he wouldn't throw his arms around him so violently that they lose their balance and stumble to the ground in a heap.

“Renjun!” the new boy shrieks above them, and Jeno winces at both the noise and the realization he’s just knocked his hook-up hopeful to the ground. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it’s alright, Chenle,” Renjun sighs, sitting up to address the boy. “I know him.”

Chenle extends his hand to help Renjun up while starkly ignoring Jeno, and. Jeno knows he deserves that, a bit. He stands up by himself and dusts himself off, trying to think of a few words on the spot he can use to attempt to fix this.

But what comes out of his mouth instead is “Renjun do you wanna do ecstasy with me?”

And the regret is immediate when both of the boys’ mouths drop open. Chenle, who is quite a pretty young thing himself if he wasn’t wearing such a harsh scowl, scoffs. “Are you kidding me?” he says, and he moves to do something - but Renjun stops him with a palm to his chest, and Jeno’s glad he never found out what it was.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Renjun says quietly to him, and Chenle’s face softens immediately. It seems Renjun has just as much an effect on other people as he does on Jeno, which makes him feel better about it. But only slightly. “Why don’t you go find Donghyuck, I’m sure he’s off doing something stupid.”

“Okay,” Chenle agrees tentatively, but he begins to walk away anyway. “Just find me if you need me.” Renjun nods before waving him off, and Jeno, who has stayed silent up until this point, probably out of shame, finally speaks.

“Sorry for knocking you over,” he says sheepishly, but to his luck, Renjun just smiles instead of chewing him out like he’d imagined he’d do.

“Maybe we should ditch Princey and call you puppy instead,” he says coyly, and Jeno actually feels a small zip of excitement through his stomach at the idea. Jesus Christ, he’ll think about that later. “Or maybe El Chapo, considering the offer you just put out there.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jeno says, suddenly shy about it, wishing he’d saved it for something more suave. Or saved it at all. “I was,” cough, “I was serious about that, you know. It’s just that - I’ve never tried it before, and Jaemin doesn’t want to do it with me, and so I was looking for -” he swallows, the realization hitting him. The way he wouldn’t have done this with just any hook up, if it really came down to it. The way he blurted the offer out so carelessly because it was as if he was just unconsciously waiting for -

“Someone I trust,” he finishes quietly, and Renjun’s eyes widen at his words. They stare at each other for a few beats, weighted, before Renjun shakes out of it and licks his lips and replies.

“I’ve tried it before, and it’s… well, it’s intense.”

Jeno finds himself chuckling. “Sounds like a dream right now, to be honest. I’ve just been studying for my midterms like a madman for the past two weeks and I only just unclenched my jaw past noon today.”

Renjun snorts. “I feel you there, God. I just finished up a dance midterm I’ve been practicing for weeks yesterday. My feet are still sore, to be honest.”

“Come to think of it,” Jeno begins slowly, “that’s why I kind of… forgot about you, I was so focused on studying. You were the last time I had -”

“Me too,” Renjun interrupts. Then he narrows his eyes. “Is that why you’re asking me to do ecstasy with you? To get in my pants?”

Jeno opens his mouth to protest but he freezes before any words can come out, shame prickling along his neck. “Yeah,” he admits, small, bringing his hands together to twist his fingers nervously. “But you don’t have to, honest. You don’t have to do ecstasy with me, either, of course. Even just dancing with you could be fun.”

Renjun stays silent for a minute, doing that - that look that he does, like he’s scanning right through Jeno, examining his skeleton. “Quit being so princey, Princey,” he says, before finally melting into a smile. “Because even if you had just wanted to get into my pants, I would have said yes.”

And when Jeno looks into his eyes wearing a smile of his own, he knows that they’re matching in the mischievous gleams in their eyes.

He takes Renjun’s hand and leads him around the dancing crowd, watching closely for a head of purple hair. He spots him in about thirty seconds, leaning against a tree and talking to a pair of pretty girls. They look so into it, Jeno almost feels bad about interrupting - but then he feels Renjun’s hand move in his, and he moves forward, knowing there’s more important things to get to.

“Jaehyun,” he blurts, and all three of them turn their heads to him. Jaehyun, in a move that warms Jeno’s cold little heart, looks concerned rather than annoyed, turning his full attention to Jeno.

“What is it?” he asks, his eyebrows pulled together, and Jeno breaks away from Renjun to lean forward and whisper in his ear. Jaehyun smirks once Jeno is finished and reaches into his front pocket, pulling out a small tin and opening it up for Jeno to see inside.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeno says with a pat on his back, picking up two purple tablets and tucking them into his palm.

“No problem,” Jaehyun says, nodding at Jeno before sliding the tin back into his pocket, and before Jeno grabs Renjun’s hand again and pulls away, he sees the two girls straighten up and lean in even closer to Jaehyun, excited twinkles in their eyes.

“That was very frattish of you,” Renjun says when they’re away and on their own, on the edges of the crowd.

“What does that even mean?” Jeno asks as he examines the two tablets, trying to pretend he’s not a little nervous.

Renjun just giggles, picking up on his tenseness. “It means you’re dumb. Here, give one to me.”

Jeno obeys, carefully dropping one into Renjun’s hand, and the boy pinches it between his fingers.

“Are you good?” he asks, eyes soft and sincere, and Jeno takes a breath before nodding.

“I’m good,” he affirms, pinching his own between his fingers. They both bring their pills up to their mouths and place them on their tongues, and Jeno counts to three before he closes his eyes and swallows.

And then… he opens his eyes. And the world is still the same. And he thinks that was a bit anticlimactic.

Renjun laughs at the disappointment that’s surely showing on his face, covering his mouth to quiet himself down. “Jeno… you didn’t really think it would work right away did you?” he asks, biting his lip to hold back more laughter.

Jeno eyes him grumpily. “No,” he pouts, and that only sets Renjun off more. It’s so loud and so bright that, although the slight heat of embarrassment still lies just underneath his skin, he can’t help but giggle along with him.

“Come on, champ,” Renjun says after he’s finally regained himself, throwing an arm around Jeno’s neck. “Why don’t I give you that dancing you wanted.”

✦

Renjun's talent for dancing extends beyond ballet, Jeno learns. The boy is - a _beast._ Jeno can't keep his eyes off of him, and he's one more body roll away from completely snapping and wrestling him to the ground to screw him silly.

And the worst part is Renjun _knows_ what he's doing. He keeps shooting Jeno these smug little grins while he's swiveling his hips, in perfect rhythm with the music, Jeno pathetically trying and failing to keep up with him. As much as Jeno's losing his mind, he's also just. Endeared. He makes cute little concentrated faces when he's dancing, and it's so -

Jeno pauses, confusion twisting his face when Renjun's expression changes to one of shock, gaze fixating on something in the distance. He turns his head to find out what the trouble is, and he almost can't believe his eyes.

It's Jaemin, making out quite - _intensely,_ with a boy with glasses that looks suspiciously familiar.

“Oh my god,” Jeno says when it suddenly hits him. “Is that Mark?”

They slowly turn to each other and break into a fit of unshakeable laughter, and right before they gain composure enough to take a breath, all it takes is another glance at Jaemin and Mark’s tongues doing an open admission show for them to fall apart again.

In fact… a questionable feeling starts to creep along Jeno’s gut as he holds his stomach from laughing so hard. He whips his head up to look around at each of the lights, which have become brighter… and sparkly…?

“Oh fuck,” Renjun says suddenly to his side, and Jeno snaps back to look at him. He’s bent over, hands on his knees, blinking his eyes slowly, methodically, before straightening and spreading into a relaxed, euphoric smile. His pupils are blown wide. And that’s when Jeno knows for sure that it’s hit them.

“Oh fuck,” Jeno echoes, splitting into an eye smile so deep he can’t see for a second, before inching forward and wrapping his arms around Renjun’s waist, pulling him closer to him, the feel of his skin ten thousand times more electric under the influence of the ecstasy. He can feel Renjun's blood pulsing and rushing through his veins, warming his skin, and he traces up his arm with his eyes wide open, mesmerized.

Renjun tilts his head forward sloppily, his little dancer hips beginning to move in time with the music against Jeno’s - who is definitely not a great dancer, but even he can dance better with the music now, feeling the rhythm in his core - and rubs their noses together, his breath ghosting over Jeno’s lips. “Wonder how good it’ll feel to kiss you like this,” he whispers, mouth falling open, and Jeno’s knees knock together a bit.

“Stop wondering and do it,” Jeno murmurs back, and Renjun doesn’t need to be told twice, lunging forward to bring their mouths together and suck on Jeno’s lip. Jeno moans into their kiss within five seconds, because it does feel so fucking good, the ecstasy making his nerve endings run in double time, everything, everything intensified. When Renjun licks into Jeno’s mouth, he can feel it in his toes.

“Fuck, fuck,” Renjun starts whimpering, breaking away to trail down Jeno’s neck and suck his skin under his teeth, and Jeno has to push him away at that, feeling too too too much from the sensation.

“Holy fuck I want you so bad,” Renjun says, blunt and open, and Jeno’s eyes widen. He still can’t break his hold from Renjun’s waist, feeling rushes of euphoria trailing up his arms when they brush together and anchored by his weight at the same time.

“You can have me,” he answers, and Renjun smiles devilishly at that, taking his slow, sweet time to slide his hand down Jeno’s arm and wrist and intertwining their fingers. He pulls gently, turned in the direction of the woods. Jeno is so easy to comply, boneless from the ecstasy.

Or maybe he just gets like that when Renjun gets a hold of him.

As they walk through the dancing crowd, time seems to wind down and Jeno can see every movement of the people around him. Almost like it’s in slow motion. He looks around, fascinated, trying to focus on too many things at once, so he shakes his head to clear it and zeroes in on Renjun leading him farther and farther away, stepping into the forest.

The ecstasy has relaxed Jeno to his core and he doesn’t feel a bit of nervousness as they trail deeper into the dark forest, farther and farther until he can just barely hear the music and see the lights in the distance. Their only light is the matching glowsticks around their necks and the moonlight that filters down through the trees, dimming everything in muted blue.

Nerves have been replaced with excitement, anticipation, coming to a peak when Renjun finally stops to slam up against a tree, pulling Jeno with him and connecting their mouths once more.

“Tell me what you want, Princey,” Renjun breathes against his mouth, his hips pressing forward to rub against the growing bulge in his pants. Jeno moans lowly, hands wound around Renjun’s back to bring him closer, and shakes his head.

“I want what you want,” Jeno replies, pushing farther into Renjun and tasting the tip of his tongue, and - good god the ecstasy is making Jeno feel every single drag of spit between them and he thinks he's getting addicted to this feeling.

Renjun moans around Jeno’s tongue and pulls away only slightly, their noses still brushing, to voice his request. “I want you to fuck me,” he says, louder than any other noise they’ve made thus far, and Jeno pulls away even further now, a little overwhelmed and head starting to feel like it's stuffed with cotton. His cock stiffens in his jeans.

“Shit, Renjun,” he says in the same volume, closing his eyes to ground himself a little bit.

And when he opens his eyes again, he sees Renjun’s fallen face, the warmth of his hips slowly backing away. “Is that not something you want?” he asks, small, and Jeno shakes his head quickly.

“No, oh my god, I want that so bad, it’s just - we’re against a tree, and on drugs, and I don’t have a condom.”

“I don’t care that you don’t have a condom. I want you to fuck me.”

“I don’t want to do that to you -”

“Trust me, Jeno, I fucking want it and it’s not just the drugs talking.”

“But -”

“Jeno I want you to breed me full of your fucking cum please don’t make me ask again,” Renjun says all in one breath, the words stringing together, and Jeno doesn’t know if it’s the ecstasy or the way all his blood rushes to his brain that makes him hear every single word despite it all. “There’s a really low chance I’ll get pregnant, and you can pay for a Plan B for me tomorrow if you’re really that concerned, but if I don’t get your cock inside me soon I’m going to die.”

He looks seriously at Renjun, who looks seriously at him back, and he nods. “Okay. Okay,” he whispers, and Renjun whimpers, throwing his head back against the tree.

They make quick work of each other, pulling off their clothes - Renjun leaves his shirt on to keep a barrier between his back and the scratchiness of the tree. “Sure that won’t be a bother?” Jeno asks, but then brings his hand down to stroke his cunt over his underwear, and Renjun’s attempt at an answer turns into a choked mewl.

“God, always love how fucking wet you are, have I told you that?”

“You’ve mentioned it,” Renjun says, strained, his legs pressing together of their own accord.

“Always worth mentioning again,” Jeno says, before hooking his fingers into Renjun’s underwear and pulling it down, sticking his fingers into Renjun’s pussy.

“Ohh, fuck,” Renjun says, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Oh my god, it feels so fucking good Jeno, I can feel it everywhere,” he whimpers, gasping, and Jeno only speeds up in response, having to quickly clamp his free hand around Renjun’s waist when that makes his legs buckle.

“Here, let me,” Renjun says suddenly, determined hands reaching for the waistband of Jeno’s briefs and shoving them down, his hard cock springing up. Renjun wastes no time in wrapping his tiny hand around Jeno’s cock, and Jeno throws his head back, his fingers momentarily stilling in Renjun’s pussy.

“Oh god,” he moans, understanding now what Renjun was talking about - he literally can feel it everywhere, lighting up his entire body, his neck and his chest and his stomach and even down to his ankles, and he shakes under the weight of it. “Oh god, oh god.”

Words cease between them as they stand against the tree jerking each other off, Renjun’s hand feeling like magic on Jeno’s cock and his pussy warm and wet and godsent under Jeno’s touch. “I need you in me right fucking now,” Renjun says when the silence is finally broken, his hips bucking forward when Jeno fingers his clit. Jeno’s foggy brain is slow on the uptake but once it hits him, he scrambles to comply.

They both step out of their underwear fully and Jeno, as gently but as quickly as possible, stretches a couple fingers in Renjun’s cunt to prep him, marveling at the way slick dribbles out of him and onto the forest floor when he pulls away.

“Please, please, please,” Renjun has begun panting softly, and Jeno doesn’t know if he’s even aware he’s doing it. He grips both arms around Renjun’s waist and hoists him up until Renjun’s got his legs wrapped around his lower back, linking his wrists around his neck and falling back against the tree.

It takes a little bit of maneuvering before Jeno manages to line the tip of his cock up with Renjun’s pussy, and they both tense up when Jeno so slowly, so carefully pushes in, preparing for the wave of complete ecstasy that’s about to hit them. Pun intended.

“Fucking hell Renjun, you’re so tight,” Jeno gasps, high and reedy, but when there’s no reply and he focuses his eyes onto Renjun’s face, he seems to be speechless, a moan caught in his throat. It’s only when Jeno’s fully buried inside him that it rips out of him with a sob, and his nails dig harshly into the skin of Jeno’s back.

“Holy shit I feel it everywhere Jeno everywhere inside me please fuck me please hard please,” Renjun starts chanting nonsensically, the words so slurred Jeno can’t make them out this time. But he's quick to obey, beginning to thrust up and pull Renjun down at the same time, bouncing him on his cock.

Renjun’s pussy fits so well around his cock it’s almost scary, his walls so soft and so giving and so warm and Jeno’s losing his mind, his eyes blurring from how overwhelming it all is. Jeno starts building up the tension into his waist, fucking up into Renjun’s tight heat faster and harder and farther, and what Renjun said earlier fades into his mind - _breed me full of your fucking cum,_ he’d said, so earnestly, and the more Jeno turns the words over in his head the more his thrusts turn forceful.

“I’m gonna stuff you full of my cum,” he whispers, leaning forward to issue it in the shell of Renjun’s ear, and Renjun whines so loudly Jeno can feel his throat trembling. “Gonna breed you full of my kids, is that what you want?”

“_Yes_ Jeno, yes,” Renjun sobs, his pussy clenching around Jeno’s cock.

“Gonna fill up your womb,” Jeno growls into his ear, slowing down his fast and rough pace to fuck deeper into Renjun, nailing him all the way through each time. Renjun’s moaning so hard with each slap that he’s nearly choking on it.

Words fail between them as Jeno finds his rhythm, only their shared untamed groans, and they probably look like a pair of madmen, grunting like animals and hands roaming all over each other with as much fascination as if they were sparkling, slow and lingering and feeling everything so very fucking deeply.

The first words that are spoken again are Jeno’s “‘m close, close” pants, and Renjun falls apart at that, his cunt clutching like a vice grip around Jeno’s cock. “Give it to me, give me it,” he’s crying so greedily, so pathetically, but Jeno’s not turned off in the slightest - it’s those final words that have him spilling into Renjun with a broken groan, pumping his seed into his womb.

A gushing wave of wetness soaks down onto Jeno’s legs soon after, Renjun slamming his head back into the tree and trembling in Jeno’s arms. Jeno begins to slip out but Renjun cries out, clenching around him and tightening his arms around his neck, a flash of fear in his eyes. “Don’t leave me yet, want to keep it in,” he pleads so sweetly, his doe eyes filling with tears, and Jeno nods helplessly, rubbing circles into Renjun's hips in an attempt to soothe him.

They stay in that position for a while, their breaths finally slowing and calming and returning to normal together, and Jeno finds himself looking at Renjun’s face, finding little bits he’s never noticed before. A couple of moles on his neck. A few strands of hair curling around his ears. The way his eyebrows are slightly uneven. He’s so charmed by this beautiful tiny boy he’s got in his arms.

“‘M gonna pull out now, okay?” Jeno says after a couple more minutes, and Renjun nods, closing his eyes. He winces as Jeno’s soft cock slowly leaves him, an emptiness left behind, but Jeno can see Renjun’s eyes flashing excitedly when they watch Jeno’s cum start dripping out of his cunt afterwards, and he’s glad there’s that to help him feel better.

Jeno carefully begins to lower Renjun to the ground too, holding him by his waist to keep him steady, slightly afraid he might - collapse, or something. But Renjun seems to be leaving his headspace, the fog clearing out of his eyes and his posture straightening from his slump against the tree. Jeno knows he’s fully out of it when he flushes red in embarrassment, unable to meet Jeno’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, defeatedly, his hung head low. “I don’t really know what came over me, that was -”

“Are you kidding?” Jeno interrupts, eyes wide. “That was so fucking hot, Renjun, seriously. Don't apologize, I loved it.”

And that finally makes Renjun look up, a small smile quirking his lip. “Thank you,” he says, still quiet, but his fingers tighten their hold on Jeno’s wrist.

They gather up their clothes and redress themselves, and Jeno’s absent-mindedly wondering why the post-orgasm elation and warmth still hasn’t left him, when he remembers with a start. He begins laughing, loud and huffing, and Renjun startles next to him, asking what’s wrong.

“Nothing, it’s just - I forgot I was on ecstasy,” Jeno manages to get out before breaking again into gasping laughter, and Renjun joins him soon after, both of them getting lost in their bliss. They slowly start making their way back through the forest, stumbling now from how much their legs feel like jelly, and Jeno reaches for Renjun’s shoulders beside him to secure himself.

Once they’ve arrived back at the party, the music once again thumping so loudly around them they can feel it pulsing inside their chests, and soon find themselves approaching Jaemin and Mark, who have finished sucking face and are sharing a joint against two trees instead.

Jaemin pulls into one of the widest smirks Jeno’s ever seen him in once they appear, but the ecstasy has turned Jeno into such a giggling, joyous mess he doesn’t even mind. “Enjoy yourselves?” he asks smugly, and before they can even begin to try to form an answer, Mark cuts in.

“Hey! You guys again! How’s the dating life treating you?” he asks curiously, politely, blanching a little when that makes them burst into howling, uncontrollable laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who’s left such nice comments here and on cc, i appreciate them all so so much 💖
> 
> [twt]() / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/homerunning)


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xtra long.. someone smash my hands
> 
> thank you to everyone who has left me such nice comments on here, i appreciate them so much 💓
> 
> just one more part left + an epilogue!

Jeno becomes a regular visitor in Renjun’s bed. They don’t end up at Jeno’s place too often, with how little privacy he gets living with thirteen other boys - and he's also started to avoid Jaemin lately, who, aside from being worryingly unable to detach from Mark's side _or_ his face, has begun to give him these serious looks, like he's trying to puzzle something out and send Jeno the answer whenever Jeno announces he'll be heading out - because they both know that heading out is code for getting Renjun's pussy. 

So he'll miss that, thanks. And anyway, Jeno wants the pleasure of knowing he and Renjun can be as loud as they want with no interruptions.

And, they more they do this together, the more Jeno finds out how much they truly need that, because Renjun is fucking _loud._

He’s beginning to get more bossy, too. Always demanding for Jeno to get him undressed the second they walk in the door, pulling his hands tighter in Jeno’s hair when Jeno eats him out, even telling him he can’t cum until Renjun does, a few times, and Jeno is surprised at the way he... likes it. He likes it so much, this tiny boy ordering him around his pretty pussy and telling him when he can and can’t cum. It’s a little scary. But mostly exciting.

And sometimes, it fucking _hurts,_ like now. Renjun had been riding Jeno’s face for a little over half an hour, nearly drowning him with his two orgasms soaking Jeno’s face so fervently the slick had dripped down his neck. When Renjun finally climbed off of him to let him breathe fully for the first time since he’d swung his legs over his face, he’d be in awe at how messy he was. 

“Holy shit Jeno,” he’d whispered, stroking a little of his cum off of Jeno’s cheek, “I’m all over you.”

Jeno had whimpered, his untouched cock lying pathetically on his hip, and he’d jerked up to try to bring Renjun’s attention to it. The way Renjun cooed at his desperation made him twitch. 

“I will touch you,” Renjun said before he climbed back onto Jeno's hips this time, ran his little fingers over Jeno’s bare torso to stroke his abs and tweak his nipples, and Jeno tried his best to stay still. “But you need to get clean first, Princey. Should I get a cloth?”

“Puppy,” Jeno had panted without thinking, and he wanted to stuff it back into his mouth the second it came out, fear zipping through his gut. But Renjun’s eyes had flashed excitedly, waiting for Jeno to continue, and so he swallowed and obliged.

“I liked it when you called me… _puppy,_” he whispered, small and ashamed, face still drenched in Renjun’s slick and the cold air starting to dry it. The only sign Jeno’s words had affected Renjun at all were his fingers momentarily stilling on Jeno’s nipples and his pupils blowing wide, but otherwise, his face remained cold stone. Jeno swallowed again.

“Then here’s what we’re gonna do,” Renjun had whispered, situating himself on Jeno’s side, his arm resting on Jeno’s stomach, equal distance between his wet face and his aching cock. “I’m gonna get the cum off your face and you’re gonna lick it all up like a good puppy,” Renjun said, and Jeno had actually trembled, his legs pressing together, “and then I’ll finally touch you and let you cum. Okay? Nod if that’s okay, puppy, no words.”

And Jeno thanked God for that, because he didn’t think he could even come up with any words if he tried. He nodded so frantically the back of his neck burned against the fabric of the pillow, and Renjun had patted his tummy to let him know how happy he was with his compliance, before bringing a hand up to Jeno’s face and collecting cum onto his fingers.

And that’s why, now, Jeno’s cock burns like it’s never burned before, so hard it’s lifting up off his stomach a little bit as Renjun sweeps more and more cum off of his face and sticks his fingers into Jeno’s mouth after, pressing gently into the pad of his tongue while he waits for Jeno to lick it all up and swallow. The whole process is a bit counterproductive, as Jeno’s slobber drips down his chin and Renjun’s spit soaked fingers only adds to the wetness on Jeno’s face, but Jeno can’t focus on absolutely anything besides the pain in his cock and the taste of Renjun in his mouth. 

“Good, good boy, good pup,” Renjun keeps telling him with each swallow, and Jeno tries to swirl his tongue around Renjun’s fingers better, with more enthusiasm, with more drool, to let him know how much he loves it. No words, only his slobber. 

Once a few minutes of Renjun methodically cleaning Jeno’s face have passed, and he’s even tenderly swiped up the cum that dribbled down his neck, Jeno can’t handle it anymore. His whole body begins to tremor, his back arching off the bed, all of his blood and nerve endings zeroed down to his cock, straining and red and _painful._ He whines around Renjun’s fingers in his mouth, looking up at him with tears in his eyes, and licks his fingers twice to try to convey his need. 

“Okay, okay,” Renjun says softly, pulling his fingers out and wiping them on his sheets. His hand skirts down Jeno’s abdomen quickly before taking a hold of his cock, and Jeno cries out in utter relief. Renjun only has to stroke him a couple times, his clever fingers rubbing just right under his cockhead, before he’s cumming all over his stomach in long, white spurts. He cries and shakes his way through it, Renjun stroking his sides and cooing what a good good job he did.

“Does puppy want to clean his own cum? Or will he let me?” Renjun asks, touching under his chin to get him to look at him. By the look in his eyes, Jeno knows Renjun wants to hear the answer.

“Y-you,” he pants, his throat too sore from choking on Renjun’s pussy earlier, and from swallowing so much of their combined slick. But once he feels Renjun slip down and start to lick up his abdomen, his tongue flatting and lapping up every bit of his hot cum and leaving cool spit behind, he almost regrets it a little bit - he has to put so much concentration into keeping his hips still so he doesn’t buck tiny Renjun off the bed, that he’s completely and utterly shot by the time Renjun is done. 

The last thing he sees is Renjun lifting up from his body and wiping his mouth before he closes his eyes, finally collapsing all of the tension and strain he’d been feeling for the past hour and melting into the bed.

“Are you good, Jeno?” Renjun asks him, laying next to him and throwing an arm over his wet stomach, and Jeno appreciates the switch back to normal. It’s helping clear the fog from his head.

“Yeah,” he mumbles tiredly, still keeping his eyes closed, but a faint smile trains on his face. “Liked that a lot. Was good.”

“Don’t know if we can do that again, to be honest… now your big dumb jock body is gonna fall asleep in my bed,” Renjun teases, but Jeno can tell in his voice that he doesn’t mean it. If he had the energy to open his eyes, he bets Renjun would even be blushing.

“You like it,” Jeno says finally, yawning, before really letting himself fall in deep now, and he doesn't hear Renjun's response. But despite whatever insult he surely gave, Jeno feels him nuzzle his head into his neck and shift his body closer, so he rolls his closed eyes and smiles.

✦

Once, during one of the rare times they've ended up at Jeno's - and he's just gotten the life sucked out of him through his dick - Renjun sits up in a panic from their lie down on Jeno's bed and cries, "I have to go to the studio!"

Jeno lets out a tiny, almost inaudible groan - he kind of just wanted to, you know. Lie next to Renjun and talk for awhile. "Do you really? It's pretty -"

"_Yes,_ Jeno, get up you have to take me over to the studio right now," Renjun says, leaping off the bed and clothing himself in a flash. Jeno barely has time to blink and sit up before Renjun is trying to yank his shoes on midair, almost tumbling to the ground, and throwing his other shoe at him to wake him up.

"Ouch!" Jeno yelps, pouting when Renjun walks over to him just to get his shoe back.

"I promised them I'd help them work on a dance, and I'm late, I have to get there now!" Renjun repeats, and before Jeno can even open his mouth to agree Renjun is grabbing his hand and yanking him up from the bed. He's surprisingly forceful for his size - but a quick shuffle through of all of their sexual encounters tells Jeno he already knew that.

"Okay, okay! I'm getting up!"

Jeno has to go sweet talk Jaehyun into letting him borrow his car - it's a lot of "please, hyungie" and "I'll be so careful"s but Jaehyun honestly doesn't take much to break. He hands over his keys before going back to his laptop, not even noticing that Jeno has a guest with him.

The ride to the studio is a little tense, Renjun giving Jeno a new direction every few blocks, and Jeno being too - scared, really, is the only word for it, to make conversation when Renjun is so high strung. His impulses are telling him to ask him about it, but he worries that would be an overstep.

Privately, Jeno thinks it's funny that he's literally fucked Renjun raw in the middle of the woods, and he worries about overstepping by asking him if he's okay.

When they get there Renjun seems to finally relax, an audible sigh leaving him, even as he anxiously undoes his seatbelt. And it turns out Jeno didn't even have to ask him - Renjun offers up an explanation freely, rolling his shoulders before turning to Jeno with an apology in his eyes. "'M sorry, that was a little, um. Crazy of me."

Jeno shakes his head, but Renjun continues before he can speak.

"It's just that - a lot of the dancers come from, like. Abusive homes, bad pasts, that sort of thing. And so it's a big rule to keep your word - we're supposed to be the place where they know they can trust no matter what, you know? Because some of them have never been able to before."

Jeno nods, his heart warming in his chest a little, watching how seriously Renjun seems to take his own words to heart. "It's fine, Renjun, honest. It's pretty admirable, actually. How much you want to honor them."

Renjun smiles, a twinkle in his eye. "I'd give you a kiss for that, Princey, but I really have to go." He quickly climbs out of his seat and opens the car door, and Jeno's heart clenches a little that he didn't get in a goodbye, but then Renjun is bending down to look at him through the open car door.

"Do you want to come in and watch?" he asks slowly, and Jeno's eyes widen. "I mean, it's just me and a few of the boys, I'm going over a final dance with them and it's pretty polished up by now, so it shouldn't take too long..."

"Are you kidding?" Jeno interrupts, before Renjun can even begin to try to talk himself out of it and take back the offer. "I'd love to come watch you dance." Renjun's beam is so bright, Jeno thinks that being dragged out of his bed so soon post-coitus actually turned out to be worthwhile.

There are three beautiful boys waiting in the studio when they walk in - Jeno wonders if it's part of the application process of the club, to possess above average levels of attractiveness - and they all visibly sigh in relief when they see Renjun. Jeno's heart pangs, thinking of what Renjun said earlier... he hopes life has been good to them.

"Renjun! We got worried, you're never late!" one of them says, and looking closer, Jeno recognizes him as Chenle, the boy who he probably narrowly avoided getting a punch from.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry you guys," Renjun says, and they begin clambering over each other to talk to him, and Jeno takes this as his cue to leave and go lurk in the back as he has before, but Renjun grabs his arm and holds him before he can even turn.

"This is Jeno," he says with a smile, and if Jeno were a little more reckless in his thoughts he might say that the way Renjun grips his arm is… almost like… he’s showing off his eye candy to his friends. “Jeno, this is Chenle, Donghyuck and Jisung.”

They all bow to each other politely and Jeno is immediately charmed by their sweet youthful faces, their enthusiasm in greeting him, the way they turn and look at Renjun so adoringly. “He just drove me here and I’d feel bad kicking him out, so he’s gonna stay and watch your dance.”

The three boys giggle and Jeno raises his eyebrows, smacking Renjun lightly on the arm. “Kidding! You could be useful, actually… you could watch their dance and tell us what you think. An outsider’s perspective,” Renjun says smartly, nodding, and the three boys waggle their heads to agree. Jeno doesn’t even have time to voice his own opinion before Renjun is pushing him away to sit in the front row of seats in the back, sitting him down with a little knowing gleam in his eye.

Jeno swallows and quickly distracts himself with images of the disgusting position he’d caught Jaemin with Mark in bed this morning, so his mind doesn’t lead to… to Renjun pushing him down elsewhere…

But all thoughts leave his head when Renjun turns on music from his phone, quiet and melancholic at first before turning into something orchestral and grand, and the three boys begin to dance, Renjun observing them carefully from the sidelines. 

Jeno is mesmerized by the lines of their bodies, how gracefully they move to the music, twirling around on the tips of their ballet shoes. Renjun is tutting out tiny little corrections every so often, but more so he's doling out encouragements by the handful, and when the music is finished and the boys have finished with a flourish, he turns to Jeno and exposes the proud gleam in his eye.

"So what did you think?" Renjun asks eagerly, Chenle and Jisung and Donghyuck in toe waiting with just as much anticipation, and Jeno is at a loss for words so he decides to just applaud instead. 

Renjun would probably deny it if Jeno brought it up but he lets out a little pleased squeal, and the boys flush with satisfaction next to him. Renjun turns to them next and pats each of them on the back, and Jeno has never seen him beam like this.

"It's really beautiful, I loved it," Renjun tells them quietly, looking at each of them in turn. "Your hard work shows, seriously. And I can't wait for you to show everyone at the concert!"

They all blush as if they're a bunch of puppies being told they're good boys, and Jeno - well. Jeno relates to that in more ways than anyone would want to know. Donghyuck is the first to bring him back into the conversation, a flirting glint in his eye.

"How much dancing do you do, Jeno?" he asks, voice teasing, and Jeno feels just the tiniest bit self conscious as their eyes stay trailed on him until he joins their circle. He presses his tongue to his teeth and spares a quick glance at Renjun before wiggling his brows.

"Minimal. You could ask Renjun, seeing as the last time I danced he was grinding up against me."

The boys break into a chorus of whoops and _ohhs,_ and Renjun's blush is so fierce Jeno almost feels bad. But only almost.

"You didn't even see the half of it," Renjun snipes back, folding his arms together, and Jeno concedes, raising his hands.

"Alright then, I believe you."

The boys don't like that the fun is over so soon, booing at Jeno's weakness. "C'mooon," Donghyuck says with a slight whine. "You'll believe him even better if he shows you."

Chenle and Jisung seem to like that idea, and at once the three begin to goad Renjun into showing off while also mildly putting down Jeno - he'd be a little more offended if his interest weren't so piqued at the idea of seeing Renjun dance - but Renjun wears down eventually, rolling his eyes but telling them all to back up to clear room.

He's acting embarrassed, but if Jeno looks carefully at his eyes, he can see a hint of pride, like he would've agreed at the very start all along. 

"There's no music," Jeno finds himself commenting offhand before Renjun slides into position, body tensing for the upcoming movement.

Jisung, the closest to him and also, freakishly tall, leans down to him to whisper, "like he needs it."

And then Jeno's glad he'd been watching Renjun so closely, because in the blink of an eye the tension is snapping and unwinding. He turns into a series of impressive, adept spins before falling into his dance with no music, and Jeno watches in complete awe, fishmouthed, wishing he had better knowledge or appreciation or taste for ballet so his observations could do Renjun justice.

But all he can do is simply marvel at what a graceful, elegant, beautiful dancer Renjun is. He leaps so high for his tiny size and he turns so fast he almost blurs before Jeno's eyes and even without music, Jeno can see a clear rhythm and rhyme to his dancing, his body the source of what's keeping him on beat. It's breathtaking to watch.

Renjun ends his impromptu, unchoreographed dance with one final spin on the ball of his foot, finishing with one leg behind him and his arms spread delicately out, and Jeno doesn't even have to wait for the boys to start before he bursts into applause.

Renjun falls from his position sloppily, too concerned with the blush and wide, pleased smile overtaking his face. The boys swarm him and hug him, coating him with their singing praises.

Jeno watches on fondly, and his heart feels a little.. warm, just thinking about it all. He and Renjun have only shared bits and pieces of their lives here and there, most of it pillowtalk after sharing an orgasm - or usually a few - between them. And through it all, Jeno has picked up on the way Renjun's entire being seems to come to life, animated and impassioned like his cells have finally been put to full use, when he speaks of his dancing.

And so seeing Renjun bask so warmly underneath all the attention, and laughing at the knowing and sly yet shy glint in his eye and giving him one of his own before Renjun is drowning under the laughter and affection of his three students completely, Jeno's heart just. Feels warmed, that's all. 

He's glad to see Renjun getting the kind of love he deserves.

And there, right there, with that thought, is when it hits Jeno, and he feels like a hole has been punched in his chest but been immediately fixed afterwards, except it's all wrong and whoever fixed it put in too much and now it's spilling all out of Jeno's chest at a spitfire pace he can't even hope to keep up with.

There, right there, watching Renjun laugh and play with his friends with the mirrors all around them seeming to even echo and reflect the sounds of joy, is when Jeno realizes just how fucked he is.

✦

"Jaemin…" Jeno starts when he finally decides to bring it up, while they're lying together on Jaemin's bed, taking a well deserved break from their five minute study session by dicking around on their phones. "I have to talk to you about something, I think."

Jaemin grunts before tapping out a text to someone - his way of showing he's listening. Jeno rolls his eyes, but takes a breath before he's out with it.

"I'm like. Um. Really whipped for Renjun."

The way Jaemin stills, shuts his phone off, and turns his head and raises an eyebrow at the exact same snail speed is so comical Jeno can't help the little nervous laugh he lets out. Jaemin licks his lips, hesitating before he replies. "And you just figured this out?"

Jeno pouts, his light hit to Jaemin's shoulder disturbing the sheets underneath them. But he answers yes. And Jaemin's arched eyebrow turns into something blanched, confused, unsure of how to proceed. "That must've been quite a shock."

"I know," Jeno groans, rolling onto his back and covering his face with his elbow - the severity of the situation calls for such drama as this. "I never get feelings for hook ups, dude, I don't know what the fuck happened - he just -" he groans again, feeling his cheeks heat in embarrassment, even with their covering. Jaemin _is_ his best friend, it's just… Jeno has never been the most comfortable expressing his feelings. Especially romantic ones. Jaemin still to this day doesn't know that Jeno had a crush on him their first year of high school.

"Well," Jaemin begins thoughtfully, also turning on his back, so they lay parallel and issue their words to the ceiling. All of their syllables float up and reflect to the other. "I do know that he is a really, really good fuck."

"_Eughhh,_ shut up," Jeno whines, giving him a stony glare. Jaemin puts his hands up in surrender and raises his brows and Jeno wants to shove him off the bed.

"That's true but it's not just that, you dumb fuck. It's… he's so sweet, you know? He always falls apart so easily under me but also I do the same for him? And he's so tiny, he fits right in my lap so well and it's always so warm… and he's so kind, and talented, and he's such a good leader for the dancers he teaches at the club. And he's so pretty. And he calls me Princey. And -"

Jeno is interrupted by a faint gagging sound, and he draws his brows and turns to the source - where Jaemin is, _most_ disrespectfully, covering his mouth with his hand and miming vomiting. Rage flashes through Jeno and he smacks his arm, a bit harder than probably appropriate, and he only feels a bit bad this time when Jaemin rightfully cries out.

"Shut the fuck up! I really fucking like him, Jaem, tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do with this!"

Jaemin, forced to recover from Jeno's hit to answer his demand, lifts his body up on his side and leans on his elbow. "Tell him. That's how it worked out with me and Mark."

Jeno also shifts up to mirror Jaemin and his mouths drops open in shock. "Hello? When did you officially get with Mark?"

“Mm, last week maybe? I just told him I was in love with him and he said he felt the same, and well –“

Jeno laughs abruptly and shakes his head, not quite able to believe his ears. “Hold on a minute, you – you told him you were in love with him?”

“That’s right,” Jaemin nods, and Jeno searches his face for literally _any_ sign that this is a prank, but is only met with the utmost of sincerity. Jeno’s humor drops and for the second time since he laid down with Jaemin, his mouth opens in shock.

“Jaemin... literally what the fuck? You’ve known him for –“

“It doesn’t matter,” Jaemin interrupts, and has the gall to act with an air of being wise, and he’s so fucking stupid, Jeno wants to strangle him. But, despite himself, he can’t help the way he leans forward to listen to Jaemin’s next words with a bit more care. “I just told him how I felt, and he for me, and it all worked out. And that’s what I’m getting at – tell Renjun how you feel, and things will go how they are supposed to go.”

Jeno stays silent for a bit, dropping back on his back with a sigh and staring blankly at the ceiling. “Shit,” Jeno says softly to break the silence, not knowing how else to articulate the trash heap of emotions he’s housing inside himself lately. He’s not in love with Renjun, he knows that. He just likes him. But – thinking back to that day in the studio, laughing with him and his friends, seeing him dance so lovely – 

He thinks that he could get there, with him. And that makes his entire insides feel like they’ve been suspended in ice.

“Just tell him how I feel?” Jeno asks weakly, and when he turns his head to look up at Jaemin, he’s got a knowing gleam in his eye. As much as the boy is just... a complete ditz, he knows Jeno inside and out, forwards and backwards, years of friendship under their belts. And Jeno, as much as it pains him to say, would trust him with his life. 

“_Fine,_” Jeno accepts, and he hates the way Jaemin spreads into a wide, pleased smirk, as if he did something. “I’ll – next time I see him. I’ll tell him.”

Jaemin is about to do something that might make Jeno want to hit him, like gas himself up or press for details or worse, congratulate Jeno, so he quickly steers the subject elsewhere. “So you and Mark?” is all it takes for Jaemin to spin into a near hour long spiel about Mark’s eyes and Mark’s accomplishments in his chem engineering courses and Mark’s hands and Mark’s cock – Jeno does end up smacking him on the head for that – and it’s sickening but... seeing the lights in Jaemin’s eyes take such a pretty turn makes him feel a bit. Soft. 

He hopes maybe one day he’ll be able to feel the same about a boy of his own.

✦

The next time Jeno ends up seeing Renjun turns out to be quite a bit of bad timing. He’s sitting at his desk in his room, working on some readings for history, when his phone buzzes at the corner of his desk and he’s quick to descend, thinking that it could be the alert for the Doordash delivery he’s been waiting on.

But to his – surprise, excitement, fear, panic, worry, hope, or all of the above, insert here – it’s a message from Renjun. They’d found each other on Instagram awhile ago and had since filled the DMs with various sexts, and the newest message is much the same.

_”princey :( its cold and im sick of studying and im hornyyy :( can u come over”_

Jeno feels like he’s gotten the wind knocked out of him. 

_”renjun... im studying rn”_

_”pleeeease :( its been so long since u put your cock in me and i want it so bad”_

Jeno inhales sharply, feeling like the breath has been knocked back _into_ him now. God fucking dammit. Huang fucking Renjun. He couldn’t say no to him if he tried.

Before Jeno can even think about replying, though he’s sure it would have been an acceptance of the offer, another message dings in from Renjun. A photo.

_”looook, im so wet already just thinking about you”_

And the strings of slick between Renjun’s spread fingers are so fucking thick, Jeno’s mouth floods in urgent hunger. He slams his laptop shut and almost forgets to reply in his frantic effort to get dressed and head out the door.

_”ill be over in 10”_

And that’s how he ends up parking Jaehyun’s borrowed car across the street from Renjun’s apartment complex and sprinting inside, getting a workout like he hasn’t in weeks from his mad dash up the stairs, and – Jeno shakes his head, cursing under his breath – there’s a crack in Renjun’s door, left open for him. The desperation quiets down now, a bit, in favor of something more building, more controlled, felt deeper in Jeno’s gut. He creeps through the door and tiptoes through the hall, and his legs nearly buckle when he lays eyes on Renjun on the bed.

He’s naked and spread eagle and two fingers deep in himself, squirming and whimpering on his sheets, and the wave of, of _something_ that passes through Jeno, hot and heavy and dark and seeming to weigh down his entire body is unrecognizable at first. But when he undresses himself without a second thought and joins Renjun naked on the bed, growling to get Renjun to look him in the eye and yet stopping the boy’s fingers buried deep in his own cunt with a gentle touch to his wrist at the same time – he thinks he gets it.

He feels possessive. He thinks – _Renjun is_ mine.

“Let me touch,” Jeno rumbles, hands still so gentle as they slide up Renjun’s forearms and pin him down to the bed. Renjun is still whining, a needy and sweet and squirmy little thing tonight, and now that Jeno has a name for the emotion burning up his insides to the out, he allows it to flood and fill his thoughts with Renjun only. “Mine to touch,” he purrs, soft and lilting, and Renjun’s moan in response is just as soft.

Jeno feels a sharp sort of clarity tonight that he never has before with Renjun, and he’s not sure it’s from his newfound realization of his feelings, his sudden possessive streak, or just how precious and pretty Renjun looks sprawled all over the bed, but it slows down his movements and his thoughts and even the movement of his eyes as they marvel over the sight before him. He moves his fingers everywhere over Renjun’s body – sweeping across his chest and tracing the hard ridges of his collarbones, squeezing his sides and hips, gliding across his stomach and down even farther. 

He presses into Renjun’s soft thighs and spreads them wide, opening up his dripping wet cunt. Jeno can’t help the little awed gasp he lets out, and he – he thinks that, in a far, far down place in his chest, he might be choking up in tears. It’s just hit him all at once, and he can’t believe Renjun has given all this to him, his friendship and his company and his body and his sweet little pussy sitting so tantalizingly within Jeno’s reach. He’s struck with sudden purpose for tonight as he traces Renjun’s inner thighs, slowly getting closer and closer to the wetness between – he wants to let Renjun know how he makes him feel. He wants him to feel the same in return. 

“You’ve got such a pretty pussy, Renjunnie,” Jeno whispers, before finally dipping fingers into him. Renjun cries and shakes, but Jeno holds him still in his hands, stroking tenderly between his folds. “I can’t believe I get to have it. I’m the luckiest boy in the whole world.”

Renjun whines, covering his face with his elbow – usually Jeno thinks he normally would’ve got a smack for being cheesy like that, but tonight is different, weighted in a way it never has been before, even since Jeno walked into the door. And Jeno knows Renjun feels it just as strongly as he does. “I get to have it,” Jeno whispers, cautiously pushing one finger in now, thumb brushing up against Renjun’s clit as his cunt squeezes around him, “and you get to have me. How do you want me, baby? On your back?”

The petname slips out without thinking, and Jeno thinks about taking it back, remembering how Renjun wasn't too hot on the idea their very first time together - but Renjun whines, soft and sweet, and Jeno's smile is small but his relief is not.

Renjun manages to get his nod across even with his arm still thrown over his face, and Jeno focuses on the way he can still see his open mouth, soft little moans tumbling out in a way that’s almost graceful as Jeno works his fingers deeper inside him, Renjun’s familiar wetness dripping down to his wrist. Jeno is overcome with a sudden desire he’s never felt before as he watches Renjun shudder and quiver, allowing Jeno to pleasure him, and he’s quick to act on it, driven by impulse only tonight. He falls forward, one hand still in his cunt and the other landing by his face, and he brings their mouths together.

They don’t kiss too often – Jeno’s mouth is usually occupied elsewhere – but Jeno has always treasured the few times they get to, even before he realized the depth of his feelings for him. But now, knowing how important the boy under him is, he feels like – almost like this is something reverent. He swallows up Renjun’s moans with his kisses and brushes their tongues together in the same increments he’s fingering his clit and he thinks they are in perfect sync from head to toe. 

“I’m ready,” Renjun gasps out after Jeno’s tucked three fingers inside him, his pussy pulsing with each caring thrust Jeno gives him. “’M ready, Jeno, please fuck me.”

And this whole thing is filthy, the sheets underneath them soaked from Renjun’s slick, each other’s slobber all over their chins, the request itself – but, despite it all, Jeno can’t help but think those are the sweetest words he’s ever heard. Fucking him will bring them the closest two people can get, and Jeno’s heart clenches a little even thinking about it – that’s all he wants. Just to be close to him.

“Okay, baby,” he whispers, breaking away from Renjun’s red wet mouth to look down and line himself up. He lays gentle hands on Renjun’s hips as he pushes in slowly, centimeter by centimeter, making sure to look up every few to check Renjun’s face and make sure he’s not in too much pain. He strokes his thumbs over Renjun’s soft tummy to comfort him until he’s all the way in, before gasping and collapsing back on top of him, quick to reconnect their lips.

“You feel so good, Renjun,” he breathes into his mouth, and when he pulls back only slightly to begin thrusting, he can see a faint blush sitting on Renjun’s cheeks.

Jeno loses himself a little bit as his cock pistons in and out of Renjun’s tight and warm and giving cunt, his grunts spilling out of him uncontrollably, his fingers gripping a little too tight on Renjun’s hips. He snaps out of it when Renjun whimpers in pain and attunes to him immediately, looking over the squeeze of his eyes and the sheen of sweat on his exposed neck, and he remembers that this is not what he wants. Not a quick and dirty fuck. He wants something memorable, something – special.

He slows down his pace and reaches over to where Renjun’s hand is wound tight in the sheets, replacing it with his own fingers instead. His hand is so warm in Jeno’s and he can feel the heat trail all the way up through his arm, radiating through his entire body, two different kinds of warmth blooming up in Jeno’s chest.

He brings their joined hands up to his mouth and kisses the back of Renjun’s hand, right on his bruise birthmark Jeno remembers being fascinated by when he noticed it; he’d asked for the story behind it, and listened with shining, fond eyes as Renjun relayed tales from his childhood involving the same bruise. Jeno’s sweet action makes Renjun drag his eyes open and Jeno looks right into them, bleary and sparkling and swimming with tears of overwhelming pleasure, and he speaks quietly but he knows that Renjun will hear every word.

“I want to look at you while I fuck you,” Jeno mumbles, and he feels that tightness in his chest again, like if he dug deep enough tears would well in his eyes. “Please, baby? Will you look at me?”

Renjun looks dazed, faraway, something so vulnerable and bare in his eyes, but he nods slowly anyway. The urge to tear up tightens Jeno’s chest again, but this time it’s in joy. He unlaces their fingers to stroke one hand down Renjun’s cheeks, cradling his face, before steadying himself with one hand by Renjun’s shoulder and the other wound around his waist, and fucking him once more. 

Their moans are shared and trapped between their mouths, Renjun’s high and whiny and beautiful like they always are, Jeno’s husky and groaning as his cock is sucked into Renjun’s pussy over and over and over – almost like it’s Renjun doing the fucking here. Jeno closes his eyes very briefly every few seconds to press kisses into Renjun’s cheeks but he wants to stay open, stay looking at him, watch how good Renjun feels under his cock.

“Deeper Jeno, please,” Renjun asks, strained out between his panting, and Jeno reaches up to wipe the sweat from his forehead before sitting back on his heels and winding his hands around Renjun’s thighs. The loss of their kisses could be devastating to Jeno if the tradeoff weren’t just as great, better, even – watching, in full view, Renjun’s squirming sweet body fitting his cock so well this must have been by design. He’s trembling in elation, the syllables of his name mixed in between his gasping moans. 

“Look at me, Renjun,” he reminds him, his voice high and desperate. He grips Renjun’s thighs like they’re a lifeline and slams so hard and deep into him every time the slap echoes around the room, and Jeno can feel it spark through his entire body, down to his toes – no ecstasy required this time. 

“I am Jeno, I’m looking,” Renjun promises, and he’s a complete mess, hair matted to his forehead and neck, his entire body flushed red, his pussy soaking Jeno’s cock and drooling strings of white wetness with every thrust. “I’m close, I’m close, keep going Jeno ah fuck –“

“’M gonna cum inside, Junnie,” Jeno cries, so close to the edge just one more tap will break him – and Renjun’s whimper and clench down around him and whispered, _“oh God please let me have your cum Jen want to be yours”_ is what does it to him. 

They stare into each other’s eyes as they cum together, Jeno pumping him full of his seed and Renjun drenching the sheets with one last flood of slick, and Jeno feels like he’s done something that can never be taken back as he watches Renjun shake like a leaf under him, his fingers digging into Jeno’s forearms. The worry, the petrifying fear that maybe he’s gone too far hits Jeno like a freight train, and so he does the only thing he can think of in response – he collapses forward and kisses Renjun with all the might his exhausted body can draw.

It’s slow, and soothing, the melt of their mouths together as Jeno’s cock softens inside Renjun’s cunt, keeping him warm. Jeno loses all track of time in Renjun’s lips, his tongue and his spit and his taste, and their kiss is far from chaste but Jeno thinks there is a delicacy within it all. Like this is a last attempt to let Renjun know, to _tell_ him, with the whimpers he lets out between the glide of their tongues. 

Renjun finally breaks them apart, what seems like hours later, and his mouth is so swollen it would probably match his cunt still gripping Jeno’s cock if he dared to glance down and have a peek. He looks like he wants to say something, fishmouthing as he stares into Jeno’s eyes, but Jeno doesn’t know what to fill the silence with either. They are both at a loss. 

“H-hi,” Jeno manages to come up with after the silence has gone on so long it’s become a bit awkward, and he ends it with a cough – a sore mistake. Renjun glowers for only a split second before breaking into a tiny smile, just barely on the corner of the lips Jeno will never spend enough time kissing. 

“I can’t believe you just gave me the best fuck of my life and then coughed in my face afterwards,” Renjun deadpans, and Jeno’s splutter in response is so abrupt, it causes Renjun to split into uncontrollable giggles. Jeno frowns at first, face burning with embarrassment, but it’s only a matter of time before he’s unable to resist Renjun’s infectious laughter. And the room is filled once again with their shared noises, but this time, it’s joyful and childish and comfortable, just as intimate as their previous endeavors. 

And with that, the air finally starts to clear, both of them stirring from the dream they seemed to slip into together, and Jeno thinks he doesn’t regret coughing in his face, after all.

“’M gonna pull out now, okay Junnie?” he warns, but before he can move one beat, Renjun stops him with a hand to his shoulder. 

“Don’t,” he says quietly, his eyes imploring and bare, and his pouty lip tucked under his teeth makes him look so small, almost breakable. “Just – stay inside me. Please.”

Jeno nods dazedly, helpless, as always, to obey. But he can’t just stay hovering over Renjun like this so uncomfortably forever, so he gets his hands under Renjun’s back and softly pushes him over to his side, careful, so so careful not to accidentally slip out of him while he also settles on his side beside him. He presses his chest to Renjun’s warm back, slipping an arm around his waist, tucking his face into his neck.

“Like this?” he asks, nosing along the soft lines of Renjun’s neck, and Renjun giggles when he tickles his ear.

“Like that,” he confirms, wrapping two tiny hands around Jeno’s and pressing it to his chest. Jeno can feel his heartbeat under his fingertips, if he concentrates hard enough.

Not another word is spoken between them as their breaths even out together, falling into sync. Jeno is the first to slip into sleep, so he misses the way Renjun begins to trace his thumb over the back of his hand before pulling him in tighter and joining him in closing his eyes; Renjun's own message to Jeno failed to deliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me about alpha hyuck ive been on a kick lately!!
> 
> [twt]() / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/homerunning)


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again... i wrote a lot askdk this little pwp turned into a big messy feelings fic oof
> 
> but it is finished! all that is left is an epilogue.. which..
> 
> here is a little hint: [👀](https://66.media.tumblr.com/4cc0c1e6144aaa6a339d3fb6d462e34b/tumblr_pmzdlmykFo1qb6t6v_540.jpg)
> 
> leave me a comment to let me know what you thought & if you liked the whole fic !

The next day, Renjun is gone before Jeno wakes up. He sits up in the bed, hair mussed, eyes crusted over, a little dazed; if he thinks really, really hard, he can remember Renjun slipping out around him, carding a hand through his hair when that stirred him from sleep, laying his head back down. And a closing of the door. 

That’s all he can remember, and it’s dubious whether it was a dream or not.

But now the space where hours ago, there had been a warm Renjun, is cold and empty and sad. Jeno sighs, looking at it a little forlornly, before he swings his legs out of bed and gets dressed, pulling his shoes on, padding down the stairs, and getting into Jaehyun’s car, movements robotic.

It must be late morning, because the house, when he arrives home, is alive and busy, the hyungs milling about. Jeno gets his coffee before heading to the front living room, where he sees suspicious movement on the couch. He gets a little closer to investigate, and finds Jaemin, and Mark – all twisted up in each other, blatantly making out on the couch with tongue and hands down pants and all, paying no mind to the hyungs.

Jeno is shocked, stammering, and he stops Doyoung when he passes by with a hand to his shoulder. 

“Hyung, hello?” Jeno deadpans. “Why hasn’t anyone gotten them to stop?”

Doyoung’s eyes scan over the mess on the couch, and he looks at Jeno darkly. “Believe me, we’ve tried.”

Jeno scoffs in disbelief and shakes his head. “I’ll take care of it,” he tells Doyoung, who just gives him a shrug and moves on. Jeno returns his gaze to the couch, examining a little closer now – he’s torn because it’s a blessing Jaemin is on top, so he can do what he’s about to do to him, but it’s also a horrible curse, because he can see Mark’s hand down his pants groping his ass and he never wanted to see Jaemin’s ass, not even when he had a crush on him. He shudders.

Quickly, to get this over with, he circles around the couch and stands right in front of it, waiting just a second to see if they respond – they don’t – before reaching forward and performing his signature move when it comes to Jaemin. He smacks him on the back of his head. 

And that is what finally makes Jaemin pop up, removing his tongue from Mark’s mouth and crying out theatrically, rubbing the back of his head. “What the hell, Jeno?” he demands, and Jeno has no response, just sitting on the ottoman in front of the couch and facing them, crossing his hands over his legs.

“First of all, it’s because literally no one asked for a free exhibitionist show, and no one ever would.”

Jaemin pouts, furrowing his brows, but when Jeno takes a peek at Mark, he at least as the decency to look sheepish. But then Jeno has to look away from him, because his swollen mouth and wet chin are not a sight he wants to linger on. 

“And second, I have a fucking problem, Jaemin,” Jeno says, hating the way he can’t stop his voice from cracking at the end. That’s what finally makes Jaemin sit up, pulling off of Mark, and this time his eyebrows are drawn out of concern.

“What is it?” he asks, gently, genuinely, and as annoying as he is, goddammit Jeno loves him. 

“It’s Renjun,” Jeno winces, looking down nervously. 

God, Jeno used to be so full of game, coaxing a new boy or girl into his bed every weekend, letting them sleep there to charm them before sending them on their way the next morning, always polite, always courteous, but never, _ever_ any feelings. And now, he’s been reduced to – to _this,_ a nervous mess just because he had sweet sex with a boy he has feelings for. And the worst part of it is he doesn’t even mind.

“We – well, we had sex last night,” Jeno begins. “And it was, um –“ he rubs the back of his neck, unsure of how to proceed without exposing all the details. He kind of wants to keep this private, for him and Renjun only. “Well, it was romantic, I’ll put it that way. We cuddled, after. But then, when I woke up this morning, he was gone. Gone from his own house!”

Jaemin and Mark, when Jeno spares a glance at him, are both wincing, which makes Jeno’s heart lurch. 

“Don’t give me that look, help me!” he cries, and 

Jaemin nods, taking a deep breath.

“Did you tell him you liked him?”

Jeno thinks. “Not in so many words.”

“Did he react in any way?”

“I mean, no, not in any other way besides continuing to have sex with me.”

“Jeno… he’s not a mind-reader, you know. Maybe he could’ve picked up hints, but you have to be open and honest. Tell him _with_ your words.”

“But that’s so hard!” Jeno whines, putting his head in his hands, and the only thing that makes him look up again is Mark’s noise of confusion.

“Wait,” he starts, waiting for Jeno to look at him, “you – doesn’t he know you like him? Aren’t you already dating?”

Jeno shakes his head – unlike that night where they’d been high on ecstasy, still casual, they’d been able to laugh that off, but now Jeno’s heart just squeezes together tightly. It only hurts now. “No,” he says miserably. “That was a plot to get Renjun away from you because he was bored as fuck the night you were chatting him up.”

Mark starts. “O-oh,” he says, small, pushing his glasses up the brim of his nose, and Jaemin shoots Jeno an annoyed look before he brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“It’s alright baby, they’re dumb. At least I love you.” And then Mark breaks into a smile and then Jaemin is wearing one to match and then they both lean forward to rub their noses together and Jeno wants to throw up.

“Hello! Can we return to the task at hand!” he cries, and Jaemin sighs before turning back to him once more.

“Just let him live his day, he probably went to classes or something. And then visit later. And then tell him, really tell him this time, how you feel. Otherwise, just sit and suffer and try to give him all your feelings by putting your dick inside him, which you know, please tell me you know, that that won’t work.”

Jeno hangs his head, defeated. “I know,” he grumbles. “But I’m scared.”

Mark jumps in this time, and what he has to say, by miracle, makes Jeno feel better. “I know he likes you, though. That night, at the party, two other people approached him and tried to lead him away from me, but he turned them down. He only went with you.”

Well, better and worse. Because Jeno’s chest clenches painfully at that, thinking of the boy who holds his heart in his hands, waiting for someone like him to show up. He’s got to go to him. He knows he has to. 

“Alright,” Jeno says, quiet, reserved. “Should I like… get him flowers or something?”

Mark coos at that while Jaemin cringes, throwing his head back, and Jeno looks between them, rolls his eyes, and leaves them to their own. He’ll figure this out by himself. And they’ve already gone back to making out anyway, Jaemin’s hands sliding up Mark’s shirt, so he thinks they aren’t too bothered.

✦

Jeno is beyond nervous, his hands shaking as he slowly, slowly makes his way up the stairs to Renjun’s apartment. He tried doing that thing he learned in Sports Psychology before he left, that thing where you put your hands on your hips in a dominant position to try to boost your testosterone levels and build your confidence naturally. And it didn’t fucking work. Jeno wants a refund for that class.

But as he gets closer, he forces himself to close his eyes and even his breath, thinking of what Mark said, thinking of Renjun saying _”make me yours,”_ thinking of the way Renjun had stared so tenderly into his eyes while he fucked him slow and good. And that gives him a small rush of confidence, small like those wave pools people go surfing on during cruises and always fall on their asses. Jeno will probably fall on his ass here.

He shakes his head roughly to clear his thoughts, and the wave was small, but it’s enough to give him the nerve to knock on Renjun’s door. His hands are empty of flowers, as he thinks it might’ve been too much, but he’s now regretting it as he has no way to conceal the shake of his hands. 

He hears the unclicking of a lock and Renjun swings the door open, a beaming smile on his face, looking warm and cozy wrapped in a big hoodie. Jeno’s heart hurts. “Hi Jeno,” Renjun greets, opening the door all the way now, letting Jeno see inside. Opening himself up to him.

“H-hi,” Jeno manages to get out, his hands fidgeting nervously behind his back, his head hung a little low. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Renjun says nonchalantly, turning around and walking back inside, waiting for Jeno to follow him. And he does, of course. 

He makes his way to Renjun’s couch placed in the corner of his room, and Renjun, who’d been heading to his bed, pulls a puzzled look but joins Jeno on the couch anyway. “So what’s up?” Renjun starts, plopping down next to him, looking so fucking cute and fuck, can Jeno do this? He feels like his lungs are constricted, how the fuck is he gonna talk? He ends up just letting out a little wheeze and Renjun eyes him narrowly, but continues conversing, filling in the gap left by Jeno.

“I’m sorry about this morning, by the way. I had an early practice to go, and you looked so sweet. I didn’t want to wake you.”

Renjun, bless his heart, is just making this worse and worse for Jeno. He lets out another tiny wheeze and now, Renjun is bringing a hand up to his shoulder, his fingers resting delicately on his muscles. “Are you okay?” Jeno panics, stammering, but before he can just blurt it out and get this whole fucking thing over with, Renjun is climbing on his lap, crawling hands over his sides under his jacket.

“Can I make you feel better?” Renjun says, leaning forward to nose along Jeno’s cheek, and Jeno shivers. 

He whimpers when Renjun’s hand presses down further, rubbing at the growing bulge in his pants, his sweet tongue licking in the shell of his ear.

“Renjun…” Jeno starts, because he really needs to get this the fuck over with. Renjun’s gonna pull his moves and Jeno’s gonna be too busy moaning to get it out and it really will end like Jaemin said it would, with Jeno stuffing down his feelings and trying to make Renjun feel it with his cock.

It sounds so horrible and cheesy when says it in his own head and it’s not coming from Jaemin, yikes; he can’t fucking let that happen. He has to move now.

But then Renjun is unzipping his pants and sliding a hand through the slit in his underwear, stroking down the shaft of his hardening cock, and Jeno is at a loss for words. “Ohh, fuck,” he says lowly, as Renjun slides one finger up and down, mouthing at the spot where his ear meets his neck. 

“You taste good, did you shower?” Renjun mumbles, sneaking more fingers in and wrapping them around Jeno’s cock now, and he whimpers, closing his eyes.

“N-no,” he stutters out, and he feels Renjun smile against his neck. 

“Good, that means it’s just you,” he says, pressing his nose into Jeno’s shoulder and inhaling, and Jeno knows it’s a lost cause. He’ll tell him later, he will, but he really, really wants to get lost in Renjun right now, and with the way Renjun is slowly grinding against his thigh in only shorts, he thinks the boy feels the same.

Jeno gets his hands around the hem of Renjun’s hoodie and pulls up, getting it out of the way, heart warming at the way it fucks up Renjun’s hair, turning it into a fluffy mess. Jeno slides his hands up Renjun’s back to hold him closer, bring his chest to his mouth, where he gives a few kitten licks to one of Renjun’s nipples.

“Oh fuck, Jeno,” Renjun breathes out, his hand tightening around Jeno’s cock, which makes Jeno close his lips around his nipple – around and around they go, slowly getting each other more turned on and more desperate, seeing who will win out in the end. 

Jeno trails his mouth across the tiny span of Renjun’s chest, takes his other nipple into his mouth now, and sucks hard. Renjun arches his back at that, and Jeno can feel a wet spot forming on his thigh. “Mm, of course you’re wet,” he whispers, now nosing along the center of Renjun’s chest, dragging up and up until he can tuck it in the crook of Renjun’s neck.

“Want me to touch you?” he asks, husky, and Renjun disturbs the warm place he’s settled in against his neck when he nods frantically. Jeno can’t help but let out a little chuckle before bringing his hand back around, dipping it into the band of Renjun’s shorts and crawling two fingers down until he reaches the wetness of Renjun’s pussy over his underwear, stroking his folds through the fabric.

“Jeno, Jeno,” Renjun pants against his neck as Jeno slides back and forth, his hand speeding up on his cock now, twisting around the crown. Jeno huffs in tandem with Renjun’s whimpering, their rhythms matching, leaking of cum in the same increments. 

Jeno thinks that, with each of their faces buried in the other’s neck, with one of Jeno’s hands holding his back and the other stuffed down his pants, Renjun’s warm palm on his cock – he thinks that this might be the closest they’ve ever been.

Jeno tucks his thumb in now against Renjun’s pussy, pressing down until he knows he’s found his clit, judged by the way he feels throbbing and Renjun’s moaning cry. “You’ve got me close,” he pants, the words breathless, and Jeno smiles into his neck, feeling pleased and proud like he never has before. 

For some reason, without even thinking, that’s when he lets it slip.

“I like you Renjun,” he breathes against his neck, panic freezing him up exactly one second after. Renjun doesn’t seem to _get_ the weight of the words, chuckling into Jeno’s neck and grazing teeth along the skin.

“I like you too, Princey,” he replies, clever fingers ghosting under Jeno’s cockhead.

Jeno bites his lip, a flush rising up on his chest for more than one reason. “No, Renjun, like – I _like_ you, like you. A lot.”

And the seriousness in his tone finally seems to get across, because Renjun stills his grinding against Jeno’s fingers, the hand on Jeno’s cock stopping at the same time. “What?” he says, seeming shell-shocked, and Jeno does the only thing he knows how to do in times of defense – he word vomits.

“I think about you all the time and I only want to have sex with you, no one else, because no one else is better. I want to come to all your ballet practices. I want to take you on dates, not dates that involve the fucking woods and being high. And –“ he swallows, knowing he’s humiliating himself right now, but still unable to stop. “I want to be able to put my arm around your waist and tell you we have to be somewhere soon for real, and kiss you on the cheek, like I wanted to that night but was too afraid to do. I like you, Renjun.”

Renjun has been struck dumb, his mouth dropping open, his eyes widened in surprise, and Jeno feels the absolute worst sinking feeling in his stomach. _Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid_ is the only thing running through his head, round and round in a horrible loop that won’t relent.

“Um, let me,” Renjun swallows thickly, again tightening his hand around Jeno’s cock, jerking him off in earnest now. “Let me finish you off.” 

“Wait, Ren-“ his voice breaks into a high, cracking moan when Renjun’s other hand clamps around his wrist, making him move his fingers again against his sopping pussy. He can feel Renjun clenching under his hand and thumbing his slit at the same time and it’s all too much, too much, and he forgets what he was even going to say, surrendering to the pleasure Renjun is providing him.

Renjun cums without warning with a stutter of his hips, slickness coating Jeno’s hand so thickly he can feel it pooling in his palm. He doesn’t even have time to marvel at how fucking _wet_ Renjun is to have the ability to soak his hand with cum even through his underwear like that, because Renjun squeezes down on the base of his cock, and Jeno feels that tell tale hot tightening behind his belly before he’s shuddering and cumming, his seed sliding down and sticking to Renjun’s fingers.

Their chests are both heaving, hands still stuck down each other’s pants, and Jeno cringes when Renjun removes his warm hand and his softening cock hits the cold air. That sucked, but it wasn’t even close to the devastation icing his heart when he slid his hand out of Renjun’s pants, losing some of his cum along the way. 

With the high from their orgasms falling now, Jeno’s thoughts clear and he remembers, startled, that he just bore a confession to Renjun a few minutes ago. And not just any confession, a _humiliating_ confession – he might as well have told him he wanted to marry him. And the way that thought doesn’t even make alarm bells sound off in his head makes him want to bury his face in his hands.

Which he does. Neck drooping. The top of his head brushing against Renjun’s still bare, still panting chest, unable to face him for one second longer. But Renjun won’t allow it, apparently, because he’s winding gentle, gentle fingers around Jeno’s wrists, stroking the skin, coaxing his face out of its hiding place.

“Jeno, look at me,” he says softly, and Jeno wants to break away and flee because he can feel himself tearing up but Renjun is looking at him so earnestly he couldn’t tear away if he tried. “I like you too. A lot.”

And the relief Jeno feels, ballooning up his entire chest until it feels like his lungs are about to pop and make a huge mess of guts all over Renjun’s living room – gross comparison, Jeno thinks, but it gets across how he feels – is unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. He didn’t even feel this relieved when he got accepted into the same college as Jaemin after suffering through a wait list for two weeks.

“Yeah?” he asks, voice shaky, but now that he knows Renjun feels the same, he doesn’t even mind.

“Yeah,” Renjun says, leaning forward to brush their noses together. Jeno dares to push a little closer and connect their lips, their kiss chaste and closed, and yet, manages to be the sweetest one they’ve ever shared. 

Jeno feels warm from head to toe, and his lapful of boy has nothing to do with it – well, partly to do with it, but for a different reason than the obvious. He also feels like if Renjun wasn’t anchoring him down, he might float up the ceiling with the intensity of the joy he feels.

They stay there for a while longer – a half hour, an hour? It all turns into a blur to be honest – just brushing lips, kitten kisses, and even when Jeno slips his tongue into Renjun’s mouth, the slide is slow and tender. They remain until Renjun whines that his butt is starting to go numb, which makes Jeno laugh, and he offers to rub it to make him feel better – Renjun crinkles his nose at that, hitting him lightly on the shoulder – but then snuggles into Jeno’s neck, whispering that he’ll feel better if Jeno cuddles him.

And Jeno is eager to comply – he really thinks he might be a puppy, underneath it all. He works his arm under Renjun’s knees, and the other secures his back, and lifts him up princess style; he wouldn’t want him to hurt his butt muscles while walking, after all. Renjun just laughs while Jeno carries him to the bed, and they share a fit of giggles when they land and bounce on the mattress, Renjun flying a little from the heaviness of Jeno by his side.

And that’s where they end up, lying across Renjun’s bed and not even bothering with getting under the covers. Renjun in Jeno’s arms is very much warmth enough.

✦

Jeno’s been rotting into his bed, hidden away from the eyes of the world and worse, Jaemin, for the past three days, completely and utterly heartbroken. He hasn’t stopped crying for the entire duration, or at least sniffling, his heart sore in places he didn’t know existed. He hasn’t showered and he’s barely eaten a thing, much less drank, and he feels shot and weak and kind of like, dying, to be honest.

And actually, fuck being honest. Jeno’s never doing it again.

It all started three days ago, the morning after Jeno confessed and Renjun said he shared the same feelings. He’d woken up with Renjun still in his arms the next morning, and the way his arm was literally dead didn’t even register in his mind, because he was too overtaken with relief that Renjun hadn’t left him again. 

“Good morning,” Jeno said, voice husky with the early hours still clogging it up, and he immediately felt a stirring that something wasn’t right when Renjun’s “g’morning” in reply was small, shy.

“How are you?” Jeno asked, tone now matching Renjun’s in fear, and the pit in his stomach only got worse when Renjun sighed and began to unwind himself from Jeno’s arms, swinging his legs off the bed.

“I have to go to class,” Renjun replied, his back to Jeno, and Jeno started to rationalize it. Nothing’s wrong, Renjun’s just tired. He’s upset he has to go to class, he wants to stay with Jeno. Yeah, that’s it. Nothing could be wrong; they both just told each other they were in like, didn’t they?

Nothing could be wrong. 

Renjun turned to Jeno before he walked out the door, biting his lip, eyes downcast. “You can stay as long as you want. Until you have classes, I guess.”

And that only gave Jeno more confidence that nothing was wrong, and he finally spread into a warm smile, his eyes forming crescents. “Alright. Have a good day, Junnie.”

Renjun’s nod was tight, a small smile on his lips, before he closed the door and left Jeno alone in his apartment.

Jeno didn’t have class until noon that day, and – he checked the time on his watch – it was only nine. So he figured he could fall back asleep, for a little while, pressing his nose into the spot where Renjun was only ten minutes ago, breathing in the scent he left behind.

He wakes up with an hour to spare, and goddamn, Jeno never really paid attention to how comfy Renjun’s bed is. He was always too occupied with the sex they’d been having on it. But now, he thinks he should really just stay in Renjun’s bed more often, because he sleeps so much sounder here than he does in his cold and lonely and creaky bed. The frathouse really still needs those renovations.

He figures the clothes he slept in are passable enough for class, so he doesn’t stop by the frathouse on his walk to class, only at a Starbucks to get his necessary coffee. By some sort of miracle, he manages to pay attention and take dutiful notes in his classes instead of thinking about Renjun, how soft his skin felt against his this morning. He thinks his eyes glass over, accidentally, but he quickly snaps out of it when he drops his pen and returns to the task at hand.

He’ll have plenty of time to spend with the real thing when all of this is over.

He has two more classes to get through, and they pass by uneventfully; he’s nearly skipping on his walk back to Renjun’s apartment, maybe planning on just staying there if Renjun isn’t done with his classes yet. He feels a buzz in his pocket, hoping it’s from the same boy, but it’s from Jaemin. Jeno feels a little guilty that he frowns in disappointment at that.

_hey how’d it go? im worried that i havent seen you_

Jeno takes a pause on the grass by the sidewalk; he’s never been good at texting and walking.

❤❤❤

_ive got a boyfriend now, i think :) idk when ill be home, im gonna spend the day with him_

_and thanks for everything jaem_

To which Jaemin replies, in that infuriating, dumb, dorky, fratboy way of his:

_wig dude! ill see you later, be safe n all_

Jeno rolls his eyes and shoots him off a quick thumbs up emoji, before continuing his walk, a spring in his step, still remembering the way his heart warmed when he called Renjun his _boyfriend._ When he finally reaches Renjun’s building and bounds his way up, heart and dick equal in anticipation to see the boy again, but he’s met with a locked door.

He flushes in embarrassment; of course Renjun wouldn’t have left it open, it was dumb for him to assume. Swallowing, he squares his shoulders again and then knocks softly on the door a couple times, leaning on one side while he waits patiently. 

And waits. And waits. 

Still waiting.

He knocks again, and this time calls out an inquisitive “Renjun?”, loud enough to be heard through the door but no so loud that his neighbors could file a noise complaint. Still no answer. Jeno forces his heart not to droop and wither, shutting it off to use his brain. Renjun is just still in class, or maybe at practice. And he locked the door, like any sane person does.

But then his heart creeps its way in again, slowly sinking as he remembers, _he left before you, and you didn’t lock it._

He shakes his head and leans against the wall next to the door, unlocking his phone to pull up Instagram. This is just a misunderstanding, no need to panic. He’ll text him and figure all this out.

_hey, i stopped by your apartment and you werent there, you must be busy :) just lmk when you want to hang out and ill drop by_ ❤

He doesn’t know why he hesitates before sending, but the important part is that he sends it. And nods. There. This’ll resolve itself.

He decides maybe he could swing by the studio, just to see if he might be stuck there. He imagines the boys holding him up, asking him to dance and help them through their routine just one more time, and he smiles. Yeah, he’ll head there.

He thinks that once this semester is over, filled with his hardest classes, he’ll get back into the track program again. He’s been training hard after all, with all this walking he’s been doing around campus just to follow Renjun. It takes him almost twenty minutes to finally reach the studio, and he sighs in relief when he can already recognize Donghyuck through the window, in the middle of a difficult turn.

He slips in and assumes his regular spot in the back, scanning his eyes over all the dancers, searching for Renjun. He’s not at the front of the room, like he usually is – it’s a different person. So maybe he’s a student today…? Jeno’s frown falls deeper and deeper when he can see Donghyuck, Jisung, and Chenle in the middle, but can’t make out Renjun anywhere. Disappointment clenches down on him so tightly that he can almost feel himself getting sniffly, and he wants to flee, suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the room full of people in motion. But he can’t leave – he’ll stay back and wait to approach one of the boys, because at least one of them has to know where he is.

To pass the time, he pulls up their Instagram DMs again, checking his message delivered a little over half an hour ago. His fingers hover over the keys, debating, before he sends another.

_are you okay?_

And he spends the rest of the practice session with idle eyes on the dancers, seeing but not watching, biting his nails all the while. 

Finally, finally, the instructor at the front calls time, and the clatter of students breaks apart. Jeno stands up and pulls up a smile on his face, greeting each of them politely as they walk by, mindless, just waiting for one of the boys.

It’s Chenle that he sees first, and he reaches out for him, a gentle finger tugging on his sweater.

“Hey!” he says, forcing his voice to be chipper. “Chenle, yeah?”

Chenle looks a little startled, and Jeno drops his hand from the fabric, but at least the boy seems to relax a little when he realizes who it is. “Yes, Jeno, it’s Chenle, I know you know that. No need to be formal.”

Jeno pulls an expression halfway between a grimace and a forced grin. “Right, yeah.”

“So what’s up?” Chenle asks, just as Donghyuck and Jisung, who’d been playfighting behind him, also join in. They each greet Jeno in turn and he acknowledges in courtesy before continuing.

“I’m just wondering, uh – have you seen Renjun today? He wasn’t at his apartment.”

“Oh, um,” Chenle hums, his brows drawing, his tongue almost peeking out between his lips as he thinks. “He wasn’t at practice today, no. I don’t have any classes with him…”

“I do,” Jisung pops in. “I share a Korean Lit class with him. He wasn’t there today, though.”

Jeno’s heart has sunk so low, it’s almost anchored in his stomach. “What time is that class?” he dares to ask, not ready for the answer.

“Early,” Jisung groans. “Why, why did I have to choose an 8 a.m. class?”

And his heart goes down even further now. Splatting on the floor. “Okay, well. Thanks guys. Let me know if you see him.”

Chenle narrows his eyes, seeming to catch onto something, a light sparking behind them. “You also let us know,” he says slowly, trying to meet Jeno’s eye, but his head is too busy drooping, his feet occupied with turning himself around.

“Yeah, yeah,” he answers absent-mindedly, giving them a half-hearted wave before finally, finally fleeing out of the studio.

He doesn’t know what to feel, now. Anger? Fear? Confusion? What if something happened to him? Is he mad at him somehow? Is he just busy and this is all one _huge_ misunderstanding? He forces himself to breathe, much easier now that he’s not stuck in a room stuffed with the stink of sweat, and again pulls out his phone to check his DMs. 

He almost doesn’t believe his eyes when, just under the last message he sent Renjun, is four horrible letters: _Read._ And, at least, Jeno finally settles on which emotion to feel.

_hello?? why did you leave me on read, cant we just talk?_

His chest huffs, and he angrily stuffs his phone into his pocket, deciding he won’t pull it up one more time until he’s arrived home, forcing his brain to remember and shuffle through the vocabulary he learned in history today to keep himself occupied. Not obsessing. Not worrying. No thoughts of Renjun crossing his mind even once.

He makes it to the steps of his frathouse before he breaks. He doesn’t step in the door, instead throwing his back against the side of the house, frantic to pull out his phone. There are no notifications, and he grits his teeth. He can’t believe he’s fucking leaving him on read, Jeno seethes as he pulls up Instagram, like some childish middle schooler –

He freezes when he reaches his and Renjun’s messages, tears prickling in his eyes when he reads the words at the very bottom. _This user has blocked you._

He thought that he might start crying, feel his heart squeeze the tightest yet, maybe feel a little numb. But he just feels dry. No tears come out and no part of his heart bleeds, he just feels dry and wasted and very, very tired. He doesn’t feel like himself when he walks through the house, no hyungs paying him any mind – and it’s not a worry, because Jeno knows he _looks_ like himself. He just feels like someone else is temporarily taking the reins, guiding him up the stairs, lifting up his covers and tucking him into bed.

And, with his sore feet from walking everywhere on campus, his head a little achey from how much worrying he’s done today, his eyes drop heavy and he falls asleep. And doesn’t get out of bed for three days. He’s completely and utterly heartbroken. He hasn’t stopped crying for the entire duration, or at least sniffling, his heart sore…

Jaemin comes in his room just a few times, sitting at the edge and patting his back over the covers, gently pressing for details that Jeno will never provide. Jeno feels mortified, hiding his head under his blanket and biting the inside of his cheek. He worries he’s being overdramatic, because, what? This was just a boy he was having sex with regularly, and developed a bit of feelings for, and got dumped the very next day he confessed. Not a huge deal. Nothing to be bedridden for days over.

It feels so simple and clean cut on paper but Jeno’s whole chest, his heart that has never been opened the way it had with Renjun, feels a pain like this for the very first time. He’s never had feelings for anyone. He’s never had sex that meant anything with anyone. And he’s had crushes but none of them, _none_ of them, meant as much to him as Renjun does. 

And not only has Renjun broken things off, he’s _blocked_ him, pushing him out, practically telling him he never wants to see him again. And Jeno is just. He’s heartbroken. And he feels like he can’t explain it and he doesn’t want to try because he doesn’t want to humiliate himself in front of Jaemin or anyone and so he’d rather just stay under these covers for a while more, maybe a week, when he’s ready to move on and be a person again.

So that’s why when Jaemin pushes for details, he stays silent. Biting his cheek. Waiting it out until Jaemin leaves him alone, telling him he’ll bring him up some water and to please drink it, he’ll come back to check. Jeno waits until he’s been gone for ten minutes – he counts – before he dares to peek his head out of the covers again.

On the third day, during the middle of one of Jeno’s marathon social media scrolls – he’s ended up on the friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a sister of a second cousin, somehow – Jaemin knocks on the door again. Jeno whips his head under the covers, something not out of comfort, but out of necessity now: if Jaemin smelled his three-day unwashed breath, both of them would die.

“What is it!” Jeno croaks, hoping his voice can be heard through the door.

“You have a visitor!” is Jaemin’s reply, and Jeno swears he melts into a pathetic puddle in the middle of his bed right then and there. He seriously wants to die. 

“Jaemin!” he hisses, finally getting out of the covers – damn, his knees have really turned so creaky – and hopping to the door, opening it just a crack. He only sees Jaemin’s face and so he only meets his eyes.

“Can I speak to you, _alone,_ for a second?” Jeno gets out from between his teeth, and Jaemin looks stunned but he nods slowly. He turns to mumble something to the person beside him, Jeno’s visitor, presumably, looking quite serious. Jeno gets curious, narrowing his eyes, and decides to open it just a crack farther to discover who this mystery guest is. 

Fear crackles like lightning up his spine when he realizes who it is – _Chenle._

Oh no, it’s not Jeno who’s going to die, it’s gonna be Jaemin, because he’ll kill him.

“Hi, Jeno,” Chenle says sweetly when he realizes Jeno’s looking at him, and it’s only due to his petrified hands that he doesn’t slam the door in their face. “Could I talk to you?”

Jeno stammers, and he feels like he’s choking on air. He wants to say no. Of course he’s going to say no, obviously. But somewhere along the way his thought travels down to his brain through his mouth and it comes out as a _yes._

And then Chenle is smiling and coming into his room before he has the chance to explain that this is all a mistake and Jaemin is clapping him on the back as if he’s proud or something and no, Jeno has finally decided: he’s going to kill Jaemin and _then_ die. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jaemin whispers, an encouraging smile on his face and then he’s closing the door and Jeno is close to panic, just him and fucking _Chenle_ alone in his room together. The very same Chenle that almost punched him that night in the woods.

Jeno is fucked!

Chenle stands in the middle of the room, hands crossed in front of him, staring at Jeno expectantly. “Um, are you gonna sit down?” he asks, and Jeno has to resist the urge to suddenly laugh – Chenle, asking him to sit down in his own room. Maybe if Jeno had had that kind of assertiveness he wouldn’t be in this shitty situation right now.

But as it is, Jeno slumps his head over, ashamed at the way his covers are a mess and his hair is greasy and gross and his room probably stinks like nothing else. But Chenle doesn’t seem to mind anything, taking a seat in Jeno’s desk chair, and he opens his mouth to talk the second Jeno’s ass hits his bed.

“You and Renjun need to figure your shit out.”

Jeno splutters. “Wh-what?”

Chenle’s mouth is in a firm line, his eyes even firmer, and Jeno is a little intimidated to be honest. “You. Renjun. Figure your shit out, because I’m tired of seeing him sad.”

Wait wait wait wait – Jeno needs at least five good minutes to process this. He speaks slowly, still trying to piece this together in his brain. “Wh – Renjun is sad? Why?”

“Because he likes you, you dummy!” Chenle snaps, and this only confuses Jeno even further. Like, thrown out into the middle of the desert with no map or water further.

“But – he’s the one that left me? He avoided me! And he blocked me on Instagram!” Jeno pleads, and he doesn’t know why he’s begging Chenle to understand why Renjun must hate him now when he so badly wants the opposite, he just – he needs this to make sense.

And finally, Jeno sighs in relief, because Chenle seems just as confused as him. “I don’t know why he would’ve blocked you? Because the day after you came to see us, Renjun showed up to practice like normal and he looked miserable. Like he hadn’t slept all night. And he kept messing up the moves he was supposed to be showing us and like, everyone could just tell his mind was on something else completely.

“And considering you had just showed up the day before, looking the same way about him –“ Chenle pauses, eyeing him to make sure he’s paying attention, “– we figured it must have been something to do with you.”

Jeno swallows, Chenle’s stare making him feel like he’s done something to be guilty for. “Did you hurt him?” Chenle asks seriously, glowering, and Jeno scowls.

“Of course not,” he snaps. “I asked him to be my boyfriend, actually, and he accepted, but then. Did all of that to me.” Chenle looks down, his lips pressing together, a look in his eyes like he’s trying to puzzle something out.

“There must be something up with him,” is what his conclusion is. “He’s fucking sad, Jeno, and none of us can stand to see it, so whatever you need to do to go and fix it – because he won’t talk to us – do it. And soon. He scheduled a solo practice early this evening, around five. I expect you’ll go, won’t you?”

Jeno pauses, choking, a little, on the two different responses trying to claw their way up his throat. Of course he wants to go see him. Of course he wants to see what went wrong – even if it hurts him. Of course he wants to know why his baby is so sad, and try to fix it. 

But he’s also scared fucking shitless. He doesn’t know if he can see him again, too humiliated, too nervous, too mad at him. He doesn’t know if he can be put through Renjun rejecting him a second time, because if that were to happen, he’d stay in his bed for more than three days, that’s for sure. 

And so he’s torn. Voice caught in his throat, battling between two different paths. But ultimately, it’s the somber, almost pleading look in Chenle’s eyes, and the need, like a string pulling on Jeno’s chest, to see what’s wrong with Renjun. To try his best, even if it’s at his own downfall, to comfort him.

He sighs, closes his eyes, and nods slowly. “Of course. Of course I’ll go.”

Chenle sounds like he lets out a squeal of excitement, so high pitched it hurts Jeno’s ears. “Thank you, thank you Jeno,” he says, so sincerely, clapping his hands together, and it’s so sweet and endearing Jeno has to smile back. 

Chenle checks the expensive looking watch on his delicate wrist. “It’s noon right now. So that means you have five hours to wash your hair and get your body smelling, uh - _normal,_ and to make yourself presentable.”

Jeno’s face burns red at the call out, and he wants to throw the covers over his head. But deep down, far deep down, he thinks he appreciates the push to get him back to the land of the living again. He nods in acceptance, and makes to get himself out of bed – for good this time – but before he can move Chenle is lurching forward and wrapping arms around his shoulders.

“I think it’ll work out,” Chenle whispers in his ear, and Jeno’s heart clenches. “He really does seem to like you.”

He pulls back, leaving Jeno shell-shocked at the sudden hug, and smiles once more, before heading for the door. Just before he leaves, he pops his head back in and says, “and Jeno, scrub good in the shower, because you really do stink.”

Jeno groans and throws his head back, and can hear Chenle’s loud, sunny laugh before he shuts the door.

✦

Jeno finds him alone, just as Chenle said he would be.

He opens the door to the studio just a crack, careful to make no noise. And he sees him through the sliver, sweaty body wilted and uninspired as he dances in front of the mirror. He keeps trying to turn and, growing more and more unsatisfied with each attempt, eventually goes forward to grip the barre and hang his head, taking a breath.

Jeno’s heart breaks watching him. It’s like his light has died and Jeno thinks this must be all his fault. 

The longer he watches, Renjun’s heavy breathing clear from his back, the longer he feels like he’s intruding on something. Spying, even, into the life of a boy who said he doesn’t want him there. So he swallows shakily and creaks the door open a bit more, and Renjun doesn’t notice his presence until his steps get close enough to hear.

“Who’s there?” he asks sharply as he whirls around, and he freezes when he sees who it is. Jeno winces.

“Hi,” he says, with a tiny wave just so he has something to do with his hands, and Renjun makes an attempt at a noise but it seems to be caught in his throat.

They stare at each other for about ten unbearable seconds, Jeno’s toes turning in and his arms crossing over his chest, before Renjun finally unblocks and gets the words out.

“What are you doing here?” he says with a squeak, and he looks so vulnerable with his face flushed and his hair curled around his neck with sweat and the leotard sticking to his body in all the right places that Jeno wants so badly to look at but can’t. Jeno realizes that this was a terrible, terrible idea. 

“One of the boys sent me,” Jeno says quietly, thinking it unwise to expose who it is in case Renjun berates them. “They told me you were, um. Down. And they wanted me to come see you. But clearly, you – you don’t want me here, so, I’m really sorry, I’ll just go –“ Jeno says, cheeks heating in embarrassment and turning on his heels, but he’s stopped with a cry from Renjun.

“Wait, don’t go!”

Jeno wheels back around, surprised at the desperation in Renjun’s voice. He blinks slowly, dazed, watching Renjun swallow thickly before continuing. “I don’t want you to go,” he squeaks, meeting him with those stupid doe eyes, and Jeno feels a shiver run along his back. Why is Renjun so fucking confusing? Why did Jeno put him in this position – why didn’t he take the hint and let Renjun break things off cleanly like it should’ve gone, and why didn’t he just find another fuck to get himself to move on?

Why is Renjun looking at him like _that,_ like he wants to say something, but can’t force himself to get the words out? And why does Jeno realize that Renjun needs him to fill in the gap for him, and why does he, despite the way he feels embarrassed and still heartbroken and still carrying the hard lump of anger in his throat, do it anyway?

“Will you teach me?” Jeno says to break the silence, and it’s the final question he asks. He knows all the answers: it’s because it’s _Renjun._

And Jeno thinks he’ll ask what, or why, or maybe just tell him to get the fuck out, but instead he nods and says “Okay. Come here” and Jeno thinks that, in those words, he gave him an answer of his own: _Jeno._

Jeno, step by step, goes over to Renjun, close enough to hear how shaky his breath is. “Okay, well,” Renjun begins, putting one foot out and raising his arms. “First you have to get into position.”

Jeno tries his best to mimic Renjun’s body, but his foot won’t quite turn out as far, and his arms are uneven. Renjun giggles a little bit and Jeno has to bite back a beam; the air is cleared, a little bit.

“Good enough,” Renjun says as his giggles diffuse. “Then, you’ll have to lift your toe and then pull your foot back, and that will give you the momentum to spin.” He tries it, and it looks perfect to Jeno, but when he lands there’s a frustrated scowl on his face. “I can’t seem to get it today, it’s pissing me off.”

“It looked good to me,” Jeno says softly, and Renjun looks at him, and he can see he wants to smile but it’s like his mouth won’t let him. He shakes his head and sighs, and walks behind Jeno; Jeno shivers, feeling how close he is to his back, and he tries to keep his focus on the mirror in front of him but he keeps glancing at Renjun’s reflection behind him.

“Okay, so you need to pull your foot back,” Renjun says, reaching forward to tap Jeno’s knee, and Jeno literally thinks he might die; a whole spark spreads through his body at the point of contact, and he feels himself wobbling a little. But he obeys, Renjun’s hand guiding his leg back the right distance.

“Good. Then you need to bend your knee and elbow at the same time, and then push up, to give yourself the force to spin. Here,” Renjun says, and he leans down now to actually grip Jeno’s knee and bend it. Jeno holds his breath, trying to disguise the way he wants to scream.

He exhales as soon as Renjun leaves, thinking he’s safe, but then – Renjun’s featherlight touch grabs on his elbow, and tenderly bends it into place, and Jeno feels his fingertips burned into his skin long after they’ve left it. “Good,” Renjun says again, in that soft teacher voice of his, and Jeno really really really wants to wheel around and kiss him. “Now lift up, and spin.”

Jeno takes a breath, watching himself in the mirror, and does as he was told, but – Jeno is a shit dancer with shit balance and he wobbles, and he really thinks he’s about to fall over and smash his face and possibly break his nose right in front of the boy he has feelings for, but then he feels soft, gentle hands wind around his waist, holding him steady until he gains his footing back. Jeno chokes on air.

He’s not going to take this for another second.

He turns around and, Renjun’s hands still gripping his waist, he leans forward and kisses him. 

He brings his hands up the second after to cradle Renjun’s face, holding him close to him, because he’s terrified he’ll break away and he just needs to kiss him this one last time and then he’ll be able to let go but – Renjun doesn’t even attempt. Renjun grips his waist tighter. Renjun kisses him back.

And Renjun even sweeps his tongue over Jeno’s lip, and Jeno gladly opens his mouth, and their tongues glide together and their noses are bumping and Jeno really doesn’t want to break away but he’s almost suffocating and he just needs one breath of air and he’ll get back to it –

But once his mouth leaves Renjun for just one second, Renjun is pulling away completely, pupils blown wide and lips red and messy. Jeno got the breath he needed but he still feels his lungs pumping like he just finished a marathon.

“Jeno, listen, I –“ Renjun starts, hesitating, and he twists his hands in the sides of Jeno’s shirt, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry.”

Jeno blinks once and twice, opens his mouth to reply, but Renjun shakes his head and speaks once more.

“No, just listen. I’m sorry. I really like you, a lot. I do. So much that it makes me nervous. I hate feeling vulnerable and exposed and – I’ve done that a lot, with you, actually. More than I ever have with anyone else. But when you told me you liked me, and we had that, um. That really amazing and lovely sex, that night… I felt like that was the most vulnerable I’d been with you yet. And that terrified me.

“So I know it was unfair. But I’ve never dated someone, not seriously, and I’ve never trusted anyone, not like I trusted you. So I ran away, and left, because… because I trust you so much that if things ended badly between us, I think it would break my heart. And I don’t know if I could ever come back from it.”

Renjun’s words echo around in Jeno’s brain and bounce behind his ribs and he’s floored. He stares at Renjun. He’s got a faint blush on his cheekbones and his lip is red from how hard he’s biting it and his eyes look so, so earnest, and all his anger and fear and frustration dissipates. He reaches his hands forward once more to cradle Renjun’s face.

They look at each other when Jeno says, “You don’t have to be afraid with me, Renjun, I promise. You can trust that I’ll take care of you. Always.”

Jeno cards his hand through Renjun’s hair and presses his lips to him again, the kiss chaste and sweet and honest, serving as a period to the promise he just gave him. 

They lean their foreheads together afterward, their small smiles mirroring the other’s, Renjun’s hands still gripping the sides of Jeno’s shirt, Jeno’s thumbs brushing along his cheek. They sit in silence hearing each other’s breaths for a few minutes more before it’s Jeno breaking away this time, a glint in his eye.

“So. I think I need to keep practicing my spinning, huh?” he says, ending the words with a laugh, and Renjun seems to be pulling himself out of a fog before he laughs along with him. His eyes look beautiful.

“We’ll practice them together until we both get it right, how’s that?” he says, and his smile looks beautiful too. Oof, Renjun is beautiful. Jeno thinks he’s falling.

“Sounds perfect, my ballerina,” Jeno says, and he loses it right after at the face Renjun gives him.

“What was that?!” Renjun cries, his face one of both delight and surprise, and Jeno beams at him, his eyes smiling.

“I don’t know, I just thought of it. But that’s awful. The cheesiest one I’ve come up with so far.”

Renjun shakes his head but breaks into a smile, stepping over to give Jeno a peck on the cheek. 

“Hmm… I think I’ll let that one slide."

Jeno blushes at the mischievousness in Renjun’s eye, and they return to their spins, laughing and exchanging knowing smiles in the mirror and dancing the rest of the evening, until both of them have got their turns right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt]() / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/homerunning)


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is over now and :( i'm a little sad because it's been so fun to write for the past month. and i've loved getting such nice feedback in the comments and cc, they've always made my day :)
> 
> but i'll for sure post more noren, and other pairings (sub jenooo), in the future, so i hope some of you stick with me <3
> 
> so.. the grand finale

It takes one week of Jeno deliberating, two weeks of researching to find the best possible product to buy and to receive it in the mail, three weeks of convincing and hounding and pleading for Renjun to agree, and one more month to find the perfect time amidst all of their classes and tests and horrid piles of homework to prepare for their fourth round of midterms.

All that waiting, anticipation, jacking off in the shower where Renjun can’t see while imagining it... and then on the morning of the day that they planned, Jeno wakes up and he’s nervous. And because he’s a good caring boyfriend who wants to upkeep a good communicative relationship with his boy, he wakes Renjun up and tells him about it.

“Junnie. I’m nervous,” he says, small, and Renjun, having only just blinked awake, groans.

“Nervous for what?” He’s wiping the sleep from his eyes and yawning and cracking his bones and normally, Jeno is very patient and loving but months of planning and care has been put into this and he can’t believe Renjun has spaced.

“Hello!” he pouts, hitting him on the shoulder. “Today’s the day we do it!”

“Ohh, right,” Renjun smiles, and he sleepily closes his eyes again, winding comfortable arms around Jeno’s waist and tucking his face into his shoulder. “Don’t be nervous, Princey. Let’s just go back to sleep.”

Jeno whines, rolling away from Renjun, leaving him pouting and alone on his side of the bed. “But I _am_ nervous. What if it hurts? Or doesn’t feel good? What if I mess up and _you_ don’t feel good? What if -”

“Jeno,” Renjun interrupts, reaching forward to stroke his cheekbone, and Jeno, despite himself, nuzzles into his touch. “What I mean is, you don’t have to be nervous. Do you think I would hurt you?”

"No," Jeno admits shyly.

"Do you think I'd do anything that wouldn't make you feel good?"

"No..."

Renjun's teasing now, smile light and self-satisfied. "And do you think that my impeccable stroke game and your wonderful ass together won't be a mutually pleasurable experience?"

"Shut _uppp,_" Jeno laughs, falling forward onto his face, but he mumbles a small yes into the sheets. He hears the rustling of Renjun climbing over, and feels a warm weight press onto his back, Renjun hanging himself all over his shoulders and pressing a small line of kisses into the back of his neck.

"It'll be good, baby, I promise." It took its own time of Jeno begging and pleading, but Renjun has finally warmed up to the pet names, and now they can't get enough of them. They even outrank Mark and Jaemin in their disgusting use of baby and sweetheart and darling.

Jeno's heart swells every time.

"Maybe we should just do it now, hmm? So you don't spend the whole day thinking about it?" Renjun murmurs, spoken in between his kisses over Jeno's back. Jeno shivers, and turns his onto his side, so his words can come out clear.

"Alright," he agrees shyly, and he can _hear_ Renjun's smile. There's a final small kiss pecked onto his cheek before Renjun's warmth is leaving him, and Jeno pouts at the cold. He turns onto his back and watches as Renjun goes into his closet - they mostly stay at Renjun's apartment now, Jeno sleeping over more often than not, and his hyungs have begun to complain. "What's the point of being in a frat if you're never over?" Jaemin had whined, and Jeno had an immediate counter: "what's the point of having a boyfriend if not to fuck like mutts all the time?"

Jaemin, for all his utter lack of shame when it came to making out with Mark all over the house, had wrinkled his nose in disgust. Jeno's got a bonehead for a best friend.

Jeno is pulled back to the present by the sound of Renjun shutting his closet door, holding in his hands the box that holds the sex toy Jeno paid an exorbitant amount of money for. Who knew fake dicks could be so goddamn expensive?

Renjun pulls it out of the box, and now that Jeno sees it, and the idea of it actually going _inside_ his ass is no longer a far off fantasy, but something going to happen in minutes, the fear starts pounding his heart again. But Renjun is giggling, hanging the straps of the - well, _strap,_ between his fingers. "It's so cute. You have such cheesy taste."

And Renjun's beam, his light and scratchy and soft voice that always brings Jeno to such ease, melts away the fear. He's giggling along with him as Renjun kneels onto the bed, staring at the purple strap with a puzzled look, his teeth chewing his lip in concentration. "I've never done this before either, you know," Renjun mumbles, his eyes wandering and far off from Jeno, and Jeno chuckles softly, finally sitting up to kneel across from Renjun.

He tries to catch Renjun's eye, to no avail. "I'm glad our first time will be together then," he tells him, and that's what finally makes Renjun look up, the softest look rounding out his eyes.

"I love you," he says in reply, and Jeno's tummy fires up like it's the first time he's heard it, even though it must be the millionth time they've said it by now.

"I love you too, baby," he returns, and he leans forward to kiss him. It's soft and dry at first, as they settle into their positions, tucking hands into necks and arms around waists. Renjun lets out a little yelp when Jeno squeezes around his waist and lifts him up, bringing him down to lie on top of him on the bed.

"I hate it when you do that," Renjun pouts into Jeno's mouth, and Jeno's eyes squint with his laugh.

"What was that? Did I hear you say you love it?" he says while nosing along the side of Renjun's neck, and he can feel the small exhale of a laugh from Renjun's throat.

"Yes, you big dope. I love it," Renjun admits, and Jeno laughs once more. God, he really loves him. Like, for real.

Their lips meet again and it's deeper this time, their mouths parting and tongues slipping in, their spit sliding together. Jeno can feel the tiny moans Renjun lets out when he sucks his tongue into his mouth, and he wraps his arms around Renjun's neck to pull him closer, stuff his tongue deeper inside.

When Renjun pulls away to hover over him, all flushed cheeks and spit-slick lips, Jeno can see the working of his cheeks to gather up saliva. It doesn't hit Jeno what he's about to do until he sees his lips parting, and then his pupils blow wide - Renjun opens his mouth and drools, dripping spit onto Jeno's lips and into his open mouth, all the blood goes down so fast to his cock it feels like it fucking teleported.

"Fuck, Renjun," he curses at Renjun's smirk, licking the fat drops of spit into his mouth and swallowing. "If you don't get us undressed in the next five seconds..."

The next minute is a scramble to shed themselves of their clothes, the rumpled shorts and big shirts they slept in. Renjun's hair gets all mussed from the pull of his shirt over his head and he's so cute and Jeno, underwear only halfway down his legs, just takes a second to pause and admire him.

"Get a move on, you big dope," Renjun says fondly, gripping Jeno's underwear himself and yanking it down. He purrs like he always does when he sees Jeno's cock, and he can't resist stroking one light finger down it, feeling the soft stretched skin over his hardness.

"Your dick is pretty," Renjun says softly, and Jeno whimpers when his fingers trace the head of his cock. "Did I ever tell you that?"

"Your pussy is prettier," Jeno replies, closing his eyes when that makes Renjun twist his fingers around and down his shaft now.

"You're so sickening," Renjun sighs with a shake of his head, but it's all bark and no bite. He tucks his lip between his teeth and crawls forward, slow and careful, and straddles Jeno's hips until his slick pussy is settled on top of Jeno's stomach, rubbing Jeno's cock between his swelling lips.

"God, Renjun," Jeno groans throwing his head back and Renjun begins to rock his hips back and forth, his hands pressing down right over Jeno's nipples to steady himself. "Keep doing that and - _fuck_ \- I'm gonna cum."

Renjun clucks his tongue, keening while he gets in a few more grinds, before swinging his legs off of him. "You're no fun."

"And you're a tease," Jeno retorts, which - only makes Renjun smile. Smug bastard.

"Do you think I want to fuck someone who's acting like such a brat?" Renjun asks him, voice lilting, his face expressionless and mild, and Jeno gulps - his cock twitches against his stomach.

"N-no," he stutters, his eyes widening, gaze fixated on Renjun reaching for it. His clumsy, nervous fingers are gone now, replaced with only confidence while he figures the straps out - he buckles himself into it with ease, and he looks so fucking hot with a cock, what was Jeno supposed to do? _Not_ whimper like a needy puppy?

"Please, Renjun," he whispers, his voice cracking now. "I want it so bad, please."

"Yeah? You ready for it now, baby?" he asks, and leave it to Renjun to have the worst mix of authority and taunting, and loving and sweetness, all wrapped up into the same words. Jeno nods, licking his lips with a wet tongue, and Renjun pats his thighs.

"Then turn around, ass up, Princey. Let me get the lube."

Jeno complies eagerly, hoisting himself up and turning himself onto his knees and dropping down to his elbows with all the restless energy of a puppy. He feels so exposed like this, his ass and thighs bare and his hole clenching around nothing in the air, and he wants to shy away - but he reminds himself this is Renjun. His baby, his boyfriend, his love. He's safe with him, always.

Jeno hears the slick sound of Renjun squeezing lube out onto his fingers, and his ass raises up higher without thinking. "We'll start out with one finger, okay?" Renjun says, and Jeno hates that he can't see him, with his cheek pressed to the mattress - but he feels one of his warm, soft hands palming over his lower back, the slide slow and comforting, and he thinks that's enough.

The first press of Renjun's finger to his rim is - well. It's an odd feeling. He's tried fingering himself a few times, but he always felt too awkward doing it, and he never got further than a few stilted strokes with one finger. But _this,_ Renjun's slim, pretty finger breaching him, curling up into him, good God. It's a weird feeling. But it's a feeling Jeno likes.

"More," Jeno croaks, drool trickling out of his mouth, when Renjun's been pumping in and out for a minute. He wants to stretch further. He wants to feel _full._

Renjun's second finger sliding into him is seamless, and fuck, it's so much better now - the work of his fingers scissoring, twisting, two different strokes stretching him open. Jeno moans, his head hanging between his elbows, his toes curling. He imagines how fucking _full_ it'll feel to have the strap stuffed inside him, and the shudder that trails down his back is visible.

"More, more, Renjun," Jeno cries, squirming under Renjun's touch now, his back arching. "Hurry, Junnie, please, please, I want you to fuck me."

"Jeno, God..." Renjun says, strained, leaning down to press his lips to Jeno's lower back. "You drive me crazy, did you know that? I lose my mind with you."

Jeno can only whine when Renjun's third finger tucks inside him now, and it's burning but it feels so so _so_ fucking good. He pushes his ass back, trying to curl Renjun's fingers deeper inside him, fucking back and forth now on his fingers. "Pretty, it looks so pretty, Jeno," Renjun praises, thrusting his fingers forward now to meet the roll of Jeno's hips, and Jeno's forehead drops to the bed, the pleasure starting to overwhelm him now.

"It's too much, Junnie," he cries, more drool sopping out of his mouth, wetting the covers. "Give it, give it, I want it now, please!"

"Fucking hell," Renjun rasps, the thrust of his fingers harsh now, "you're so hot, Jeno. Give me one second, one second, baby."

Jeno mewls, low and probably pathetic, but he's so horny and so desperate and so fucking ready to be _fucked_ that being pathetic is taking up the least amount of room in his thoughts right now. He can hear the click of the lube bottle opening and the slick, wet sounds of Renjun lubing the strap up, and good fuck, Jeno feels like collapsing on the bed now, his cock hanging so heavy and full between his legs. But he's a good boy, an obedient boy, and he keeps his ass up, presented. He's gonna be good for him.

Renjun moves forward on his knees, spreading Jeno's legs as he settles between them. His hands grip Jeno's thighs, hoisting him up a little, and Jeno is grateful for the support - he can feel the tip of the strap brushing against his hole now and his legs feel shivery and weak.

"You good, baby?" Renjun asks one more time, palming tenderly up his spine, and Jeno turns around to nod his head feverishly, his tongue wagging.

"Yes, yes, I promise. Fuck me, please."

And then, Renjun is spreading Jeno open with one of his fingers. And then, he's pressing the tip forward into Jeno's hole, the stretch so much wider than his three tiny fingers had been. And then, he's moving forward with care, centimeter by centimeter, until the entire length of his cock is inside Jeno.

And then, they're both moaning, and cursing, and blurring the syllables of each other's names, when Renjun begins to rock back and forth.

"Feels so good, Junnie!" Jeno gasps, and this feeling - the feeling of his tiny boyfriend, so gentle and sweet, fucking his hips up into him with a power and might Jeno didn't know he had him - is something he _never_ wants to go away. This seriously might be the only way they have sex now.

"You're so tight, Jeno, I wish you could see," Renjun groans, and Jeno's never heard his voice this husky. Jeno whimpers and falls flat on his face once more, the praise, the fullness, the nailing of Renjun's cock into his prostate all too and too and too much to handle. He's dripping precum everywhere, all over his thighs and the bed, and he's never felt this _wet._

But then Renjun is reaching forward, wrapping his arms around Jeno's chest from behind to pull him back up. He drapes over Jeno's back, mouthing kisses over his shoulders like he had before, and the overwhelming tension begins to leave Jeno's body with each wet press. "You're doing so good, Jen," he whispers, and it feels so intimate, so soft, so secret. Something private and special, just for them. "Do you like it? Does it feel good?"

Jeno hums, his moan caught in his throat. "Love it, Junnie, love it." He's slurring now, he knows. He really is just a dumb mutt underneath it all. "Love your cock. Feels so good."

"Fuck, Jeno," Renjun groans, pressing his forehead to the back of Jeno's neck. The snapping of his hips turns into something deep and mindful now, and with each thrust Jeno feels it all the way down to his toes. He feels whole and full and warm and in love, with his boy's body pressed to his back and his cock stuffing him full. He's never gonna move on from this boy. Never.

"Are you getting close?" Renjun pants, the words nearly inaudible, almost drowned out by the slap of their skin together. Jeno nods manically, his own hips rocking back now to meet Renjun's thrusts.

"Mm, mm-hmm, keep going, right there!" Jeno directs, and he worries it's nonsensical - his head feels fuzzy, his tummy warm and coiling, the tightness in his cock taking up every single thought in his brain. Renjun adjusts the angle a little bit, pulling back just a little and sneaking one arm down to thumb at Jeno's cock, dragging his fingers through the cum gathering sticky and thick at his head.

Jeno's cursing and panting and slurring and squirming when Renjun's pace turns into something brutal and forceful, skillfully hitting his prostate every time and setting Jeno's entire body alight with pleasure. When he cums it's with Renjun's hand on his cock, Renjun's breath on his neck, and Renjun's cock in his ass. _Good_ and _Renjun_ have been bound so tightly together now, Jeno doesn't think he could ever separate them again. It's branded into him.

"Good, good boy Jeno," Renjun whispers while his hips slow down, while Jeno pants his way through the comedown of his orgasm. Jeno appreciates the thought and gentleness and all, but - he really wants to turn around and kiss the absolute fuck out of Renjun and he wants to do it now.

He says as much. "I want to do _you_ now, please please Junnie, let me get you off, I want to be so good," Jeno whines, and he cringes when he pulls forward, the strap leaving such a miserable feeling of emptiness behind. A squirt of lube releases and drips down his ass, wet and cold, and his cum is starting to dry on his thighs, but - Renjun. Renjun. He's all he can think about and he wants him more than anything, even more than getting clean.

"Jeno, it's okay, you don't have to - oh, _fuck,_" his protests cutting sharply off into a moan when Jeno reaches under the straps of his cock and strokes between his swollen folds. He's so slippery and fucking wet like he always is, and Jeno's touch eases into him so well like it always does, and he thinks that's a word he's never going to stop using when it comes to Renjun. _Always._

"So wet, baby," Jeno praises, and he bumps his head into Renjun's shoulder, turning to lick and suck up his neck. Renjun closes his eyes, his hips stuttering when Jeno strokes back and forth, teasing over his clit before falling back down, the game never ending.

"If you don't make me cum soon..." Renjun says, his voice scraped out of his throat, "I'm never fucking you again."

Jeno chokes - and scrambles to finger his clit. He presses the pad of his thumb down, the throbbing of his clit beating into his skin, and Renjun is reduced to a shaking, broken mess when he cums. He falls forward onto Jeno's shoulder while he trembles his way through, spurts of cum gushing out of his pussy in waves, and Jeno's fingers are further coated with each one.

They calm their breaths down, slow the beats of their hearts and the tension in their stomachs with their faces tucked into each other's necks. Jeno can feel Renjun's heartbeat against his mouth and he presses a kiss to it, and it's definitely cheesy. And definitely dumb. But he thinks it's romantic and his own heart clumsily squeezes together, too.

"So," Renjun is the first to break the silence, pulling back from Jeno's neck, and his eyes are filled to the brim with bliss. "How'd you like it?"

"Oh, shut up," Jeno laughs, shoving his shoulder lightly, and Renjun bursts into laughter, sunny and sweet. "I don't have to tell you... your ego's gonna get so big someday, it's gonna burst."

"Thank god I always have you to bring me down, huh?" Renjun says with a smirk, and he flops down face up onto the bed. Jeno leans down with him and cuddles into his side, and he has to scrunch and curl up to Renjun's side in order to fit, but he loves it. There's not a place he feels safer than by Renjun's side.

"Thank you, for that," Jeno mumbles, his face pressed to Renjun's chest. Renjun scoffs, squirming away from _eww feelings_, like he always does - but it doesn't mean he doesn't stroke a few gentle fingers along Jeno's neck. "I loved it."

"I loved it too, Princey," Renjun admits with a sigh. "I love you. And, I love sleep. And I love sleeping with you the most. Let's sleep, I'm sleepy."

"_Okay,_ I get it!" Jeno giggles, peaking up into his sweet eye smile. "I'd love to sleep with you, I really would. But what if - and hear me out, I think this might be the greatest idea I've had - what if we go for round two?"

And he punctuates his words with a lick to Renjun's neck and a hand pressed between his legs, and by the way Renjun gasps - Jeno thinks he's going to get his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> [twitter]() / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/homerunning)


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